A Big Change and an Unexpected Journey

Do you ever dream of doing something, but you either don’t have the funds to make it happen, feel comfortable where you are, or have a fear of what if it doesn’t work out? So, you put it off and next thing you know a year goes by, and then you are sitting there on the couch kicking yourself in the butt, because nothing has changed and something in your life needs to change.

Well if that’s not you… Keep reading anyways, because this sh*t is important.

Ok. So…

After sitting on my butt, not writing, not living my best life, becoming the literal worst and unrecognizable version of myself I have ever come across…. UNFORTUNATELY…

Gaining weight… eating like crap…. being depressed… hanging around all the wrong people…watching all the days mesh together and losing all concept of time. I finally made the decision…

TO GET OFF MY ASS…. And start moving.

I didn’t just move either….

I packed my car, threw my apartment in storage, left my friends and my family behind, and drove 24 hours from California to Austin, Texas. Where I committed to a fully furnished short term lease, in hopes to start an entirely new chapter in my life.

Now if that isn’t a huge change I don’t know what is. Quitting your job to pursue your dream maybe?

To be fair… I did not have a job lined up. I was going in blind, and relying on what I did have saved up to get me through the next few months.

So Yeah… Super terrifying!

I’m not going to lie… The drive was actually brutal… My dog and I got hit by a drunk driver in Arizona at 7 in the morning on our final day of driving… and the woman literally drove off. My whole life was packed in my car.. and my trunk was pretty much fully caved in. A huge set back. The cops found the woman in New Mexico later that day and arrested her with a DUI. Unfortunately, she was not insured and I didn’t have uninsured motorist covereage.

So! I got to Austin… was left without a car and out one thousand dollars, because I had to pay my deductible to get my car fixed….. And the car place botched the job.

If that wasn’t the cherry on top of the cake on this new chapter of my life… it gets worse…

Barely a week into living in Austin we had the infamous snowpocoplypse. I was trapped in my apartment without power for 4 days and then lost my water for three days after that.

I had to boil snow to flush my toilet.

Do you know how much boiled snow it takes to flush a toilet…??? A lot.. especially when you don’t have a bathtub to store your snow.

I did not shower for 5 days and on top of that I didn’t bring my snow shoes to Texas. So, when I had to trek down the road to find food, since I didn’t have a car and no Ubers were working in fear of driving on the icy roads….

Let me tell you guys…

I ate sh*t mmm.. close to like 20 times. It was ICY AF. My back still cries. I didn’t need snow shoes… I needed ice skates.

At this point, I started to think that maybe the Universe was telling me, that this was not a well thought out plan, and that everything that could go wrong did go wrong and that this isn’t where I am supposed to be. If it was I feel like things would have fallen in place much more easily.

But… there is a silver lining.

While, I embraced the change and my current situation, I found myself forced to deal with everything that I was running away from in California.

This was something that was very hard for me to do and something that I had been avoiding for a very long time. I kept getting into the same cycle with the same people and just overall feeling stuck, unmotivated, depressed and anxious.

So. Yes. The move was scary…and yes I almost starved and froze to death, because I had no food or water or power…and a drunk chick may have attempted to drive through my car leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere near the border…but….I did finally begin to deal with years of built up issues. I finally stopped brushing things under the rug. I finally had time away from certain people, to the point where I could come to terms with all the ugly in my life, because I was looking from the outside! Far away in good Old Texas.

It truly gave me the opportunity to work on myself. I finally had a gym. I got back to eating healthy. I figured out who my real friends were, and I was quickly reminded of who the truly toxic people were in my life.

And on top of all of that… I realized that I am a survivor, a winner and that I am truly resilient to what this world may throw my way. Which is good, because after a pandemic and the 2020 shitshow , it’s something that I and everyone else needs to be reminded of. We survived a 2020, some of us just barely, but we did it!

Change isn’t to fear. Life is what you make it and perspective is everything.

Eventually we all have to face our demons, and if that means being alone with your thoughts, or a change of scenery, or a few awesome life coach podcasts, then so be it!

Change is good, because through change we evolve.

So here is your sign to take a chance and embrace change if you are scared. You too are resilient. Everything works itself out in time and you have to put in the work. Putting off problems and refusing to face the hard, is only going to prolong the struggle. Whether the hard is in your relationship, within yourself, at work, in your career, your going to have to face it at some point.

So…You may as well start now!

XOXO

Bri

How to Land an Interview During a Pandemic!

If you are anything like me, you probably graduated from college not to long ago, have work experience, but maybe not enough, and you’ve gotten laid off due to Covid and are now in the extremely large pool of the unemployed people searching for jobs!

I know! So much fun right?

I found myself having a hard time finding a job post Covid, I found that everything I was qualified for had thousands of applicants applying on multiple job platforms, and I just wasn’t getting enough response back from employers.

So I started to ask myself why? and what I should be doing to get those interview requests coming in.

Here are some tips that I found to be helpful to start landing those interviews and landing a job.

  1. Update your resume- Make sure it stands out from other resumes. Make sure it looks clean, one page, and has your relevant work experience, spell and grammar check it to polish it off. Make sure that that resume is updated on all platforms like LinkedIn, Indeed, CareerBuilder, ZipRecruiter and so on.
  2. Apply! Apply! Apply! -Apply to multiple jobs daily. If you are looking daily, then you will see all the new jobs that get posted, which means you can be an early applicant! That means your resume is more likely to get viewed. Also just playing the number game here, but the more jobs you apply to, the higher your chances are of landing at least one of those jobs. I know a lot of you are out there thinking “I apply to 50 jobs a day, for the last three months and I still haven’t gotten a bite”. I feel you! You just have to keep trying and hang in there. 🙂 And keep reading for a few more good tips!
  3. Ask all of your friends and family- In some cases it’s not about WHAT you know, but WHO you know. You can post on your Facebook or LinkedIn, that you are looking for work and ask if anyone knows or has heard of an open position. Just getting your resume on the desk and a good word in from someone in the loop can get you that foot in the door, that you desperately need. Trust me. My family kept telling me to reach out to people including aunts, uncles, and some recruiters that they know, which opened more doors than my indeed job hunt ever did. The more people you ask the more advice they give too, which can help you approach the job hunt differently, or apply to other industries you might not have thought of before.
  4. Write a cover letter! Cover letters allow you to really sell yourself to a company, and tell them what your skill set can do for them!
  5. Follow up on your application- You should follow up on every application! Shoot the hiring manager an email expressing your interest in the job or request an update. I know it sounds like you are being annoying, but the people that are screening resumes are having to screen multiple a day, and the more contact you have with them, the more likely they are going to keep coming back to viewing you as a potential candidate. It comes down to… would you rather be 1 out of a thousand resumes sitting in their indeed mail box, or do you want to be someone, who took the initiative to make their presence known?

Its important to not let rejection get the best of you! Keep your head up and keep on trying. Something good is bound to pop up!

Yes. The Gym Should be Considered an Essential Business!

When lockdowns hit earlier this year the gyms were one of the first businesses to go, and as we started to reopen, the gyms were one of the last businesses to return.

While, some of us invested our money in home workout equipment and others of us sought out online workout classes, a good amount of us need and craved the ability to get our workouts in at the actual gym. There is something about your level of productivity and clarity, when you aren’t distracted by the kids and pets at home.

With the winter months upon us, and restrictions causing fitness centers to once again close their doors or turn to outside workouts only, we face the realization that the weather is going to be a factor that is well out of our control.

It’s hard enough being happy and healthy during the winter months, as it is, and the gym is needed to help maintain mental and physical well-being for those of us who would like the option.

The thing with the gym, is that if you don’t feel as though its a safe space, you don’t have to go, but for the people who use it to reduce stress, and need it stay healthy and active, it should be our choice to make. There are so many precautions the gyms were already taking, for example, people are required to wipe down their own equipment, the staff goes through and sanitizes the equipment every few hours, there is sanitizer in every corner, you are required to wear a mask, social distancing is encouraged. I feel safer at the gym than I do at the grocery store to be honest, which says a lot.

Mental and physical health is so important especially during a pandemic.

People who are moderately obese have a 30% chance of dying from COVID and according to one study obesity increases the risk of death by Covid by 48%. Obesity alone kills about 300k people every year in the U.S. Going to the gym and maintaining a healthy and somewhat active lifestyle can help reduce your risk of obesity, heart disease, diabetes, cancer, as well as, help people who struggle with depression and anxiety.

Given that so many people have developed Covid depression, are struggling with the Covid weight gain, and are finding themselves unmotivated being locked in the house.. Its hard to believe that fitness centers are not considered an essential business at this point. People need to start talking about the other preventative measures that surround this disease. Like how we have kept fast food places open, but close indoor dining at restaurants, with healthier options for those nights we don’t feel like cooking at home. No one really talks about the healthy diets and foods we should be eating to boost our immune systems and stay healthy, or that we should get up and walk for at least half an hour a day. When you turn on the news it’s a lot of scary numbers, with no real solutions! Simply stay inside and wear a mask. What about some life tools that could truly help us during this time. Because to be honest the majority of us.. are depressed, lonely, going stir crazy, are terrified do to shitty reporting, and fear mongering political agendas, meanwhile other people are exercising their right to protest and potentially spread the disease, keeping us locked up. This is ass backwards.

The people need to be able to make the choices for themselves at this point. They know the risk, they know the safety precautions, and they know the symptoms to look out for. So let them make the choice that they see fit, and stop depriving the majority of us, who aren’t in those risk categories, to get out and live a healthy live.

7 Tips to Gather Responsibly This Thanksgiving!

I cannot believe Thanksgiving is a week away…. It’s crazy. For most of us Thanksgiving will look a bit different this year. It might be a bit smaller, a bit sadder, it might be missing some important people, and if you are following California’s rules, then you might be freezing your butt off outside for dinner.

I don’t think most people are following the rules and guidelines for Thanksgiving, but if you truly are worried about this years Thanksgiving… here’s some tips to remember going into next week.

  1. If you haven’t done so already make sure you quarantine for 14 days before visiting your family. Especially if there will be elderly people in your house, or those with pre existing conditions that tend to be more susceptible to Covid 19.
  2. If you haven’t been quarantining… I suggest you start and get a Covid test ASAP! No later than Monday and that could be pushing it. Although I believe they have some rapid test now in some areas… Don’t know how accurate those are though. Most tests results get back to you within 3 days, but there have been an increase in people at the testing locations, so hopefully they can keep up. A Covid test is going to be the most secure and reassuring way to spend time with your family during this holiday season.
  3. If you’re truly scared and worried about bringing Covid home, then opt for a zoom Thanksgiving. ( I know a few families who are doing that this year). You can try to make it memorable, and interesting, whether you all get take out and eat together or maybe play a game.
  4. Be sure to practice social distancing when you are around your family.
  5. Be sure to be open about what to expect. Talk about if you want everyone to wear mask, communicate with how you’ve been feeling the over the last week, and really listen to your body for those of us who might be silent spreaders.
  6. If you really want to exercise caution, and people didn’t get their Covid test or quarantine for 14 days, then you can always keep Thanksgiving closed to you and your immediate household. Thanksgiving for two might not be the ideal way to spend such a large family holiday, but it’s best to keep an open mind and make the best out of the situation.
  7. You can always bring the heaters out, dress warm, and gather outside as well to reduce some risks… If the weather permits.
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Gather responsibly! Eat and be merry! Don’t forget the pie!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Xoxo, Bri

January. February. Covid. December.

Well.. well.. well… and here we thought we were going to be quarantined for 2 weeks.

I honestly thought I’d have a productive year. I thought I’d finish my book, get in the best shape of my life, go on a cross country road trip, finally make it abroad, but no… Instead… I was trapped in my one bed, one bath, humble abode… going almost BAT SHIT CRAZY.

I mean where have the past six months even gone?

Am I right?

Here in California… If Covid doesn’t kill you, the wildfires might, and if you are really lucky PG&E might even shut off your power, during one of our lovely rolling blackouts.

The only workout classes available cost an arm, a leg, and a minor heat stroke. I swear this heat wave came straight from the devil’s anus.

And to think that this all started with a toilet paper shortage, but now here we are, almost a month away from one of the biggest presidential elections in history.

2020 is one of a kind.

It ‘s just one giant shit show after the next. 🙂

No live audiences. No funerals. No gatherings. Beaches closed. Parks closed. Temperature checks. No indoor dining, No gym.. and a 100 dollar no mask fine.

Living the good life. I mean it beats the alternative, so no harm no foul.

#Commifornia.

I truly am sad for America though… I’m sad because we are so divided, when this pandemic should have brought us closer together.

The politics have driven families, friends, neighbors, and good people apart. God help us all this holiday season.

Luckily my family has pushed politics aside this year, and agreed to not gather in person.

and I hear that…

United Airlines now has rapid testing for flights to Hawaii, so you don’t have to quarantine for two weeks when you arrive, therefore, I will get in one luxury vacation this year!

Sorry fam, but I’ll be spending Christmas on the wonderful beaches of Maui. Hallelujah!

In all seriousness.

I know the world is an interesting and crazy place these days, so I hope everyone is out there staying safe, and making the most of the current situation.

Wash your hands, be kind, and spread love not hate.

Xoxo, Bri

Doomsday 2020: The Corona Hold The Virus Edition

The world as we know it seems to have gone up in flames.

China is burying dogs in ditches and stealing them from their homes(WTF). Italy is on lock down. Flights are at an all time low making booking a vacation really tempting right now. Unfortunately a spontaneous trip to Europe is off the table.

I hear viruses hate humidity though, so where’s a fun, but humid place this time of year? Cancun??

Traffic is conveniently less with everyone working from home. People are now homeschooling their children. Colleges have shut down.. Daycare shut down. Restaurants are cutting hours. People are losing their jobs and their ability to pay their bills. Pizza place’s are refusing to deliver. Shelves are empty.

People have begun to panic….

So…

To help those, who, may be panicking at this moment… making life extremely complicated and difficult for all the non Chicken Littles in this world. I encourage you all to KEEP CALM.

The worst thing anyone can do in any life or death situation is panic.

If you see a shark in the water…. Do you panic? No. You stay still, remain calm.. and stay in front of the apex predator, while you swim slowly away and call for help. Otherwise you look like a wounded seal and easy lunch. I mean come on.. Shark bait Hoo Ha Ha. 

Same goes for this virus…

You have to stay in front of it. Panic is not good for your immune system, because it causes stress, and stress reduces the body’s ability to fight antigens and infections. Thus, leaving you more susceptible to contracting a virus.

I’m not saying that COVID- 19 isn’t a concern. 

The media clearly says it is a concern at a global level. (I can’t argue with that!)

The virus is the real deal.

But…

Everything the media says should be taken with a grain of salt. For years the media has shown people only what they want people to see or hear. They literally put opinions, thoughts and fears in peoples’ heads, and it really works!

Just think about whose agenda this virus is pushing, who it’s affecting, what it’s affecting, who has something to gain from an economy crushing pandemic right now, and who ultimately is going to get all the blame?

Just saying. 

We are still in the early stages, this could get a lot worse, a little worse, and it could get a lot better. We honestly don’t know enough, and it is unhealthy to stress about things that are so far out of our control.

On a lighter note… Let’s talk about more concerning matters.. 

Like the fact that I am legit out of toilet paper and am highly considering buying a bidet off of amazon, because somehow a possible 2 week to 30 day quarantine means people are going to have explosive diarrhea for 30 days, and now need 200 rolls of toilet paper. Leaving me with next to none. #notevenremotelyprepared

Who needs that much toilet paper??

NO ONE! You Chicken Littles are making it impossible for the elderly to even get toilet paper at this point, because you ripped it off the shelves like greedy ass holes.

A wise note to the big toilet paper companies… Don’t spend it all in one place, because most of the population won’t be buying toilet paper till 2021.

I find the media to be quite funny.. spreading common knowledge like it’s new information to the public.

Like avoid using public bathrooms (I’ve been doing that my whole life?) 

Wash your hands. (well yeah… duh?)

Avoid human contact. (Finally it is socially acceptable- now I won’t come off as rude) 

In all seriousness.

I hope everyone is out there staying healthy and avoiding the plague. Check on the elderly, they seem to be really affected.

Pray for Tom Hanks and his wife.

Keep Betty White safe. 

If you are concerned and want to take precautions that don’t involve potentially running out of a year supply of toilet paper… Here are some tips to stay healthy in these crazy times.  

  1. WASH YOUR HANDS ( This truly is a given) 
  2. DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE ( This is honestly so hard for me. I have allergies, which came early this year. My nose and eyes really are getting itchy. Send Help!)
  3. EAT YOUR FRUITS AND VEGGIES! (Food is a great form of defense for your body! Eating a balanced diet is key to staying healthy. Get those greens, eat those berries, load up on citrus for vitamin C!) 
  4. EXERCISE( At least a few times a week.. for at least 30 minutes. It’s good for your immune system and overall health. If you are going to the gym- throw some disinfectant in your gym bag and disinfect those machines, or whatever you are touching and be sure to wash your hands! Or just avoid the gym in general)
  5. SLEEP( sleep is good for you, so make sure you are getting at least 7 hours a night. Sleep actually helps improve your immune system-Just FYI) 
  6. NO HANDSHAKES(Easy way to spread germs- just don’t touch other people) 
  7. MEDITATE ( to reduce stress, promote immune health and avoid panic. It’s good for you. Try it!)

Just going to leave these words of wisdom here.

People are crazy.

It’s always good to be prepared.

Don’t do anything stupid.

Use your common sense.

People kill people.

Stupidity kills people.

Panicked people do dumb irrational things.

Be rational.

Don’t panic.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

XO BRI

11 Amazing Self-Care Remedies You Could Be Doing

Why should we practice self-care?

Well.. because.. when you forget to bring balance to your life you become drained, overworked, miserable, unhappy, stressed. Which can cause your health to decline. Then you find yourself with stress induced ailments, which are not fun.

You need to make yourself a priority, make your health a priortiy, and remember it is okay to work hard and play hard(or relax hard). Do whatever brings balance between your work and your life.

Okay. Here are some of my favorite self-care remedies/activities:

  1. A weekend escape. I love just escaping for the weekend, and coming back feeling rejuvenated for the work week.
  2. Going horseback riding. So much fun. Horses are awesome. You can make it a family outing as well.
  3. Spa day. Anything from facials, to a massage, to a mani-pedi, teeth whitening(not really relaxing), but I love having white teeth, because it makes me smile more.
  4. Spend a day doing absolutely nothing. Sleep in… play video games, binge watch a show you have been wanting to catch up on.
  5. Try out new hobbies. Perhaps a cooking class??
  6. Go hiking. (bring snacks… One time I went hiking and it turned into more of an adventure than I had anticipated. I had no snacks, and I just about died…. 11 Miles. Send Help. My stomach was growling.
  7. Declutter a room. Spring cleaning doesn’t just have to be done in the spring. Throw out some stuff you’ve been hording. It’s good to let things go sometimes.
  8. Go for a drive. Blast some music. Sing your heart out.
  9. Meditate. You should do this anyways. It improves mood, reduces stress and all that jazz.
  10. Volunteer… Sometimes doing things for others helps you appreciate what you have in life, and it brings you joy and happiness. Kindness is good for your soul. You can also volunteer… and spend a day with dogs/puppies.
  11. Unplug. Unplugging from social media is good to do every so often. Delete people who don’t bring you joy or happiness.

Do whatever makes you happy at the end of the day. Just remember it is important to take care of you and make you a priority.

Fun Facts About Me

I am an average singer(sometimes above average). I love Karaoke

I can eat an entire large pizza to myself.. (I just choose not too most of the time).

I love animals. I wish I could adopt all my furry friends.

I am 25 years old and a Sagittarius- IF YOU WERE CURIOUS.

I went to UC BERKELEY and majored in Political Science and Philosophy…(YIKES)

My favorite movies are…. Crazy Stupid Love. Pearl Harbor. Up<3. Inception. This Means War. Armageddon

Given My Favorite Movies… I’d say I am kind of basic.. (school me with good movies in the comments?)

Once a cat had a litter of kittens in my garage… and then came back and had another litter of kittens months later. I had like 14 cats that year.

I often debate on whether I will go to grad school, or law school… But I am terrified that they will be a waste of time. We shall see.

I actually love school. I love learning. I think knowledge is a powerful thing.

I can out drink most of the men I date. (I am proud, but not proud..)

I drink manlier drinks than most of the men I date?

Waitress: (hands me a cosmo)

Me: “No honey, the Whiskey on the rocks is for me.”

Waitress: “Oh, I’m sorry, here’s your cosmo sir.”

AND this is why I am single. KILLING EGOS DAY ONE. (just kidding)

Men embrace your girly drinks! Or drink some whiskey it will put hair on your chest. It certainly puts hair on mine! (wait what?)

I use to want to be a comedian… but then I realized I wasn’t capable of being “professionally funny.”

I LOVE 90s MUSIC.

Side note… EMINEM put out a new album… WHAT?.

I don’t like ARIANA GRANDE or TAYLOR SWIFT….(I’M SORRY)… (I’M ALSO NOT SORRY) Talented women.. just not my cup of tea.

I have 6 Siblings… five of them are technically half siblings.

The Journey, Not the Destination

They say sometimes you have to get lost in order to find yourself, but you don’t just find yourself. You stumble upon something that clicks for you. Somewhere in all the misdirection, in all the glory, in all the soul searching you find YOU. You find passion, drive, acceptance.

People get so caught up in the day to day hustle that we get to call “life,” that sometimes we forget to stop and breathe. We forget what brings us joy and happiness. We forget to enjoy the little things. We get so caught up that we ARE mindless zombies addicted to caffeine and street tacos(damn those are so good, please send the yummy bean juice). Bean juice makes me go fast.

Just kidding… to much coffee gives me anxiety. Highly sensitive.. still drink it. bad Bri.. 2/3 decaf please! #extra

Anyways… back to this journey. (LOVE JOURNEY)

“Don’t stop believin’.. hang on to the feelin”

Everyone’s journey is different. So stop looking at other people and what they are doing and being jealous of their journey.

Get up and go on your own.

Embrace all that life throws at you.

Challenge yourself.

Make the best out of every situation.

Be kind.

You will never be prepared for 95% of what the world plans to throw at you. You can, however, ride the wave it’s all about your perspective. Who care’s if there are ups and downs. Be passionate about them. Just chalk them up to being part of the journey, and know that the outcome(if you don’t fall into the darkness) will bring you so much light.

The journey is what makes you, YOU. The journey is where you will stumble onto yourself. And one day.. you’ll look back at the hard times and the great times. And you will go WOW that was a wild ride. Always move forward. Your destination awaits you.

XO, BRI

Be Brave. Be Bold. Be Brilliant

Confidence: The Key to Unlocking A Better You

Confidence is interesting. I’ve watched it come and go in myself and other people. 

Sometimes I think, wouldn’t it be nice if I could just be confident all the time?

Well.. yeah.. duh… that would be nice. 

It’s also 100% doable.  

Confidence is part of a healthy mindset. A mindset you can adopt, change, develop and start right FORKING now. 

All confident people know their strengths, they are not afraid of failure, they stand tall, they are people of action, they are problem solvers, and they definitely don’t have a problem with self doubt or negativity.

CONFIDENCE is an EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE quality. So the sooner you get on board with it the better your life will be. 

I say this as a person… who spent so much of her life never knowing what she wanted and couldn’t make a decision to save her life. 

Be confident in everything you do and every choice you make. 

It always breaks my heart, when I come across people with an underdog mentality or worse a victim mentality. I just sit there thinking to myself… Dude. The only person not rooting for you is you! Get out there, jump in, make a splash, make a scene, be forking brilliant. 

Here are a few key things I hope will ease you on the right path to becoming a more confident you. 

  1. Start practicing self-love. Stand in front of the mirror…. Look at yourself… and say at least 7 things you love about yourself. The first time around you probably won’t believe them… But if Spongebob can stand on a roof and say “I’m ugly, and I’m proud,” then I have full confidence that you can say I love my birthmark it makes me unique. I love my eyes(stop calling them pooh brown). I love that I love fiercely. I love that I am creative. I love my passion for animals(or whatever your passionate about). I love that I am nerdy. I love that I am currently practicing self love. I love my body the way it is. I love my dimples. I love my sense of humor. I love my honesty. I love that I am genuine. I love that I am kind. Alright 7 things! Repeat them…google positive affirmations if you have too. Repeat them to yourself like a mantra. Do it when you aren’t in front of the mirror I don’t care. Positive self talk. Try it. It’s fun. Maybe dance in front of the mirror while you’re at it?
  2. Eliminate negative thought patterns. Any time you start to think a negative thought turn it into multiple positive thoughts. It’s all about perspective. 
  3. Stop with the self doubt. Write down your strengths and your weaknesses. Always focus on your strengths, and improve your weaknesses over time. Stop worrying about the worst thing that can happen. Even the worst thing you can overcome. (unless you are planning to rob a bank, and the worst thing is jail. But I hope that is not the case). Self doubt is crippling. Ditch the self doubt. You will thank me for it later. Don’t worry about what everyone else thinks, worry about you. 
  4. Be a person of action. Stop making excuses. Always do what you say you are going to do and hold yourself accountable. 
  5. Dress to impress. How you present yourself can scream confidence even if you feel like a turtle in a well dressed shell. 
  6. Fake it till you make it. That’s what the best of us do. No one has it all figured out. It helps to be one step ahead though. 
  7. Do something that scares you. DUN DUN DUN. Strive to be brave, bold, and brilliant. Ask the person out, take that trip, go skydiving, swim with sharks, ride it’s a small world(literally that ride creeps me out…. I can hear the music in my head). Fear only holds you back. So go be fearless. Facing a fear does wonders for your confidence. Sometimes it even makes you feel like a new you.

The Bottom Line: Adulting is Hard.

I searched “Adulting” on urban dictionary today… and I was almost offended by the definitions I found. Granted. They were from 2015, so the times have changed. 

Here is the top definition on Urban Dictionary:

Adulting (v): to carry out one or more of the duties and responsibilities expected of fully developed individuals (paying off that credit card debt, settling beef without blasting social media, etc). Exclusively used by those who adult less than 50% of the time.

Not too bad… still slightly offensive. 

What does exclusively used by those who adult less than 50% of the time even mean?? 

I pay my bills and I never blast my beef on social media.  I adult 85% of the time(pay my bills, pay my rent, cook for myself, work a 9-5).

I also texted my mom saying “I hate adulting” this week. Partially because working a 9-5, commuting 2+ hours, finally getting home, realizing you need to go to the grocery store and then cooking at 8pm is not ideal.

Here is a rude definition:

Being a responsible adult. Used by immature 20-somethings who are proud of themselves for paying a bill.

Okay. Who pissed in your cheerios man??? As a millennial, and someone with great credit, who pays their bills in full every month. I kind of take offense.

 #Adulting is hard. 

The problem millennials face is this:

We were told we needed an education to make money, and then we came out of college with crazy student debts, to then go work for a job that probably does not pay enough. 

Then we are expected to buy a house, have a savings, contribute to our 401k, get married and have kids.

Unfortunately, all these traditional milestones, that come with being a responsible adult, cause us to become consumed with stress. This leads to depression, lack of motivation, anxiety, panic attacks, self doubt, lowered self-esteem, and a bunch of other issues that affect our mental health. (just saying) 

So. 

We then opt to buy expensive dogs(or regular dogs) instead, which gives us motivation to buy a house so our dogs can have a better life, thus putting off kids for a few extra years. (Serious or Sarcastic?) 

Just to be clear.

Animals can improve your mood, reduce stress, encourage you to exercise, reduce anxiety, and make you feel less lonely(sometimes). 

The bottom line is.. Adulting is hard

Socioeconomic trends have changed in the past few years, and are very different for 20-somethings we simply take longer to transition into actual adulthood. 

We aren’t all giving ourselves pats on the backs for paying a bill here and there. Most of us are just doing the best we can. 

SHIT IS JUST EXPENSIVE. 

Some people take longer to gain financial independence, and making fun of adulting is our way of coping with the fact that a lot of us are stuck living at home.

Doomed to spend the rest of eternity making bad financial decisions. 

Such as…  

Spending absurd amounts of money on Starbucks coffee and avocado toast. That is, until we land our hypothetical dream job that pays well, or we move somewhere, where the cost of living isn’t BS.

P.S. Stop spending money on Starbs and avocado toast!

xo, bri

Hello… It’s Me. Sliding into your DMs, Hoping You’d Like to Meet.

Technology is great. People are great. Tons of people meet online and go on to date or get married.

But then, you get that handful of people, who just seem to have lost their forking brain (but really though where did you leave it? Maybe I can help you find it?).

Somehow… social media has transported us to a world, where people think that when someone never responds, it means they should try harder.

You didn’t respond 48 days in a row… but.. hey! how’s your day today? As if the 49th time is going to be different.

Hello… Remember Me?

I can tell that you’re online, based on your activity

-bri

Currently making Adele’s song into a joke about cyber stalking /DM sliding, if you haven’t caught on yet.

You may be wondering why I am ranting on about this or why it is relevant…. so let me explain my madness.

I recently made all new social media accounts and apparently, by doing so, I opened the flood gates for messages from a handful of random people. It would be one thing if they were commenting on my blog, or my page; but no, they just came to say “Hey. You’re pretty. What’s up?”

In my opinion this is ONE of the most UNATTRACTIVE things a person can do, and it’s a huge pet peeve of mine.

I don’t think desperate is a good look on anyone to be fair.

Just because you have the ability to message people you don’t know a million times, it does not mean you should.

Most of the guys I don’t know, but then I get the ones that I had previously blocked on a different account, that decide now is the time to seize the opportunity and give it one more go.

If I wasn’t dabbling in blogging and interested in potential content (that sounds mean), then I probably would have blocked these people right off the bat. Instead, I left them on read and watched as the messages kept pouring in.

The messages were cringe worthy to say the least.

So much so that I considered taking where I worked off of my LinkedIn. I mean, this is how people end up dead in ditches or kidnapped, right? (slightly dramatic but still)

Here’s an example of the lengths these people are going to….

I had a guy offer me 10k for a “friendship” his words (swear to god), in hopes that I would hang out with him ONCE. Then, and only then, would he feel content leaving me alone.

I couldn’t help but let my mind wander. I started to think. Is this how they plan to kidnap me? Venmo me 10k… under the condition I meet them for a drink. Then, next thing I know, I’m being drugged and held hostage in someone’s mothers basement. YIKES.

Hard Pass. Flattered.

I’ve tried just about everything. I’ve gone the not responding route, which did not work. So then, I tried responding and saying, “Thanks I’m not interested.” That did not work either.

I guess the best thing you can do after that, is block them.. or subject yourself to future harassment.

I’d like to point out that the act of sliding into DM’s itself, doesn’t have to be frowned upon; but there is a right and a wrong way to do it.

If I am interested in someone… I might respond to a story someone posted and initiate a conversation.

BUT there has to have been previous mutual interest.

If two people are liking each others posts back and forth; then it is safe to ASSUME sending them a message won’t be considered super creepy.

That does not mean, that the other person is actually interested. It just means you have a higher chance of a response.

The truth is… if they don’t know you exist, then they probably don’t care to(harsh), and leaving a comment on their pictures asking, “hey, did you see my DM?” is awkward.

Not to mention.

Excessively messaging someone is considered harassment. So let’s just quit the creepy stalker shit in 2020.

END RANT:)

xo Bri

In a Funk? Here are Some Tips and Tricks to Perk You Back Up

Oh FUNK. I’ve fallen and I can’t get up (Haha, not funny….)

That’s my life right now. Trying to find my way to the light after falling into a fairly intense funk.

I think it’s the season. We hit the ground running with motivation and then we get stuck pumping the breaks from exhaustion.

I bet your thoughts are somewhere along the line of… staying in bed forever… curled up in a ball.. not in the mood to leave your house??

Maybe it’s just because it’s Monday and adulting is hitting extra hard, or maybe it’s because it’s freezing outside and winter has me snuggled up with my favorite plush blanket.

WHO KNOWS.

So. How do we get the pep back in our step??

Well.. we take a long hard look at our goals, and push through, because it’s all we can do.

Easier said than done. I am well aware.

Here are things that I do when I hit the dreaded FUNK.

  1. Unplug from social media. Social media is the worst mental health culprit. So, I find that taking time to unplug and ditch the screen brings me mental clarity.
  2. Obviously I meditate, it tends to improve my mood, I actually meditate with some sage scented candles, or I burn some sage and turn on my meditation playlist.
  3. I rearrange my house….. because something about a put together house, makes me feel like a put together person. You can always tell if I’m in a funk, because the furniture will have been rearranged.
  4. I take time to rewrite my goals, to remind myself that my funk is temporary and I do have a plan in motion. That usually helps get some rhythm going.
  5. I talk to some one, who is, usually a close friend and if I don’t feel like talking to someone I write it down. Journaling can be very helpful and healing.
  6. I write down at least five positive things that happened in the last week, to help myself avoid the negative thought process that comes with being in a FUNK.
  7. I write a task list every morning. To make sure I am being productive, and not falling into a non-productive black hole.
  8. I try to do something nice for someone, because kindness goes a long way and it’s good for the soul.
  9. Self- Care (I will be posting my favorite self care practices later this week)
  10. I find things that make me laugh. (comedy shows, movies, podcasts, an old video, Ali Wong’s Book perhaps?)

I think the hardest part is understanding that it is temporary. Everything is temporary.

People need to learn, that it is okay to not have it together all the time. It is okay to take a break. It is okay to not be okay for a minute or a day. Sometimes life gives us lemons, and we make lemonade, and sometimes that lemonade will still taste like shit. You just have to keep trying till you get the recipe right.

Adulting is hard. Don’t feel bad. Rise above the FUNK, because you are better than the FUNK.

Happy Monday!

xo Bri

The Post Hump Day Update

Oh goodness it’s #thirstythursday, and I’m about to break my semi-dry January promise to myself. I say semi-dry because I told myself no more drinking on the weekdays.

But… It’s been one of those weeks. So.. Pour me up a glass of wine. Please.

The good news is, tomorrow is Friday.

The bad news is…well there is no bad news, because we are oneish day away from getting to hit the reset button on the entire week. Which means we can finally spend some time indulging in self care.

I like to start my Friday nights by breaking out the largest wine glass I can find. Aka the bottle and spending some solid hours unwinding in the comfort of my own home.

It’s always good to remember, that one bad day doesn’t ruin every other day, and its best to not dwell, even if your anxiety is a raging ass, that keeps you up at 2am, wondering if you’re just having a panic attack or if you might be dying.

I mean who is going to feed my poor dog??

In all seriousness, your life is basically a never ending roller coaster ride. That flips you upside down, sends you into corkscrews, and is full of up and down emotions. The only thing you can do, and the only thing you have power over in most circumstances is how you handle it.

All bad bad things are temporary, unless you choose to let those bad things dictate your life. Don’t do that. Take it one day at a time. One step at a time. And find comfort knowing that you are not alone. We all have bad days, weeks, months…. YEARS. It’s life make the best out of it.

Embrace the bad days, they will make you truly appreciate the good ones.

Happy almost Friday!

xo Bri

The Millennial Struggle: Authenticity.

Authenticity is something I think people in general struggle with throughout their life. Which is fair, because people spend a lot of time trying to find or figure themselves out.

It takes time to figure out what your beliefs, passions, wants and needs are.

It takes time to figure out, who you are as an individual.

It takes time to figure out what direction you want to take in life. Somehow your body has a good way of telling you, which way is right and which way is wrong. Sometimes, we fail to listen to our body’s instincts.

So many of us get consumed with life, and the hustle, and work, that we forget to live in the moment. We forget to smell the coffee that gets us through our day.

And then one day, you wake up and go who am I? What am I doing with my life? Why have I wasted so much time?

Or one day you wake up and realize that,

You find yourself in a world surrounded by people pretending to be something their not. – Pretty sure that’s from A Cinderella Story.

And then you go ugh… wth.

The more people I meet and the older I get, the more I notice that people don’t care about being real. In fact they have developed this mentality of “why be me, when I can be someone else?” Which, is very possible with modern medicine.

I think social media has a lot to do with this, because we idolize people and we want their life.

People spend less time worrying and working on themselves and more time worrying about everyone else.

The world right now is full of inauthentic people. I feel so lucky, and blessed when I get to meet real people. People with a personality, who aren’t mindless sheep.

Don’t be a mindless sheep!

The Merriam-Webster definition of authenticity is being true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.

What does it mean to be true to one’s personality, spirit, or character?

It means understanding that you’re not perfect, but owning your imperfections. It means being open- minded, even if you have your own set of beliefs. It means listening to others without judgment and living your life for you and no one else.

Put yourself first, stay in your own lane, don’t worry about the accomplishments of others. Focus on your journey, because everything else is just noise and a distraction from a fulfilling life.

You are supposed to find yourself, not get lost in all the BS. I know it’s hard, especially, when you can compare yourself to a million people with the swipe of your finger. Stay true to you.

xo Bri

“authentic,” The Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/authentic. Accessed 12/18/2019.

Once Upon A Time: A Childhood Story That Will Leave You Cringing For Days

Once upon a time …..

There was a girl, not just any girl, and extraordinary girl. A girl who looked danger in the eye, a girl who learned to survive the wrath of three crazy brothers. A girl, who, instead of running would just stand her ground.

A girl, who, one day walked into the kitchen to find one brother running around the kitchen island, and another brother chasing him with a butcher knife, screaming … “I’m going to kill you, I swear to god”. The initial reaction you might ask? Obviously jump in between the brother with the knife and the brother that was running for dear life. Thus, ending the cycle of running and buying time for the grandparents to come in and break up a “fight?”.

It was like walking into a slow motion bounty commercial, and I was the person with the bounty paper towel, who was there to save the day and clean up the mess.

Once I successfully got in between the two, keeping one brother on the complete opposite side of the kitchen island, and guarding the other brother, who was catching his breath. I began the art of slightly coaching my older brother to put the knife down.

Then came the mediation between idiot number one and idiot number two. Finally, as I stood between my older brother and my younger brother, an adult walked downstairs and asked “what was going on?” I looked at both of them. They both started to walk away. Crisis was averted. Ok so it was not that bad… but…

Welcome to my life.

You know what they say. Not all heroes wear capes. That is me. I do not wear capes… ever.. maybe that one time, when I dressed as a vampire for Halloween.

I swear some of you have never had your siblings chase you around with a kitchen knife, and threaten your life and it really shows.

I saw that in a meme last year and it really resonated with me. Just saying.

I have yet to decide if this was a normal occurrence? I mean most siblings do this stuff right? Attempted murder? No? Yes? Maybe???? I mean it was a normal occurrence in my house, so I just assume, healthy sibling rivalry? What would others do in this situation?? I am curious.

I honestly didn’t know whether to laugh, or cry, or grab my own knife.. Growing up with an out of control psycho, was a character building experience. You never knew if he was going to burn the house down, hire a hit man, stab you in your sleep. You just knew you needed to lock your doors. Now that my friends is cringe worthy.

Side Note: Tuesdays I like to post funny stories about me if you have yet to catch on. If you’d like to hear more about the crazy thing that is my life leave a comment. I’d be happy to switch it up! I’d also be happy to share more crazy WTF moments as well.

If you like what you read, don’t forget to subscribe.

XO Bri

The Truth About Social Media: Depression, Reality, and Acceptance

Social Media is a great place to network, to keep in touch, to stalk our exes, to reconnect, and to promote business. It has provided us with a world of endless possibilities.

The Problem

Unfortunately social media has led to a lack off authenticity.

This lack of authenticity has created a void.. a pit.. of depression in a good amount of the us.

Social media has created a sense of distrust among the people who use it.

Between the Photoshop fails, the marketing and the get rich quick schemes. It is getting hard to tell what is real and what is fake. Luckily most of us are a good judge of character and can spot it a mile away.

People are becoming so unhappy with themselves, because they can not stop comparing themselves to other people. I have struggled with this same issue time and time again.

An Inside Look

A lot of my friends have taken the Instagram model route. They boast about how much money they or other people are making on a post. They get paid to post watches, they get paid to be at events, they get to travel often. They are also glued to their phones and obsessed with their following.

Half of them are promoting products that do nothing. Most of them fail to do much to make the world a better place. They boast about all of the gifts they receive and we follow them, because we want to be them, or because they are good to look at.

To be honest. I was jealous at first of the money my friends were making on the side. It was a car payment for crying out loud, but then I also realized nothing on social media is REAL.

You never get to fully see behind the curtain and social media is definitely a curtain.

Most of the people in an Insta Model’s life are going to be creeps. From their photographers, to their followers, at least in my experience.

Most of these people are just as unhappy as the rest of us. They too fail to be honest with themselves. Everyone is competing, everyone has eyelash extensions, fillers, hair extensions, Botox, boob jobs, because they too were unhappy with themselves at some point in time.

I hopped on the extension hype for a while, but god it was exhausting, and extremely expensive.

It is exhausting to look attractive, be fit, happy and perfect all the time.

Fooling the World and Ourselves

Every time my friends were posting on Instagram “the happy couple” in Disneyland or “never going home” in Hawaii, they were texting me how miserable they were on the side.

Fooling the world and fooling themselves in the process. We all do it.

Everyone edits their pictures, creates the perfect photo-shopped post, because they do not think the original is good enough.

We as humans are so self critical.

We as people have entered into a society that is more concerned with having a pissing contest, than helping create a COMMUNITY, of helping, encouraging and sharing success.

What Does This Mean For Future Generations?

We have fallen into a hole of likes, half naked pictures, and a lot of future children asking their Mom, why they are half naked on a swan in the middle of the pool?

The scary part is wondering if our kids will follow in our footsteps? Have we created a world where privacy does not exist? Have we lost our morals and our boundaries?

I don’t think it is necessarily a bad thing, because it has empowered so many women. I think the women who are out there doing this are beautiful and brave. I also feel as though I have to encourage it, because who would I be if I did not support my fellow women?

I feel like half of them are putting up a facade.

People are honestly just out there doing whatever made someone else really popular.

Is There Room For Improvement?

Sometimes, we have to put the crazy world of social media aside, and focus on what really matters.

Which is….

Worrying and improving ourselves not anyone else. We should be spending more time routing for each other and encouraging each other, instead of being self absorbed in our likes and following.

Everyone could use a little improvement. You do not have to put on a fake face every day in hopes people like you. You just have to make sure you like you.

If you find that you don’t like you, then be honest with yourself and figure out what needs to change. Change is not always a bad thing, if you are changing for the better.

Social Media has the ability to bring out the worst in the best of us.. the jealousy monster in most of us, and distracts us from the things in life that really matter (our friends, family, pets, life).

Acceptance is a key part of happiness. If you can accept where you are in life, what you have, and who you are, then happiness will follow.

If social media is causing you to be depressed. Don’t be afraid to take a break, clear the clutter, and practice self-care. There is more to see in this world than what is on your screen.

Five Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

Dear Younger Me,

Friendships

You don’t know this yet, but over the next ten years of your life you are going to have a revolving door of people that come in and out of your life. Most of which never stick around, and a few that stick around to long.

This sucks, but you get good at weeding out the people who are bad for you. You also become a great judge of character. First impressions are going to be key, so remember that. You could save yourself a lot of hurt, by trusting your gut instincts on a few of these people. You are going to have to learn to nourish the good relationships too though. You let a lot of people slip through the cracks, because you are kind of selfish and mean. So kill every one with kindness, and adopt that into your life, you cynical bitch.

Men

All of the men in your life are temporary, so stop crying over them, in fact avoid men in general, because they make you put your life on hold and keep you from pursuing your dreams. You’d be a lot farther by now, had you not wasted so many years jumping from one toxic relationship to the next. Also, no man is worth ruining a friendship over, you encounter a lot of women who think this a thing, you’ve also done it yourself, and it always ends poorly. Use your brain.

Love

Love will find you, but you need to find you first. You’re a hot fucking mess and you are going to have to spend a lot of time trying to better yourself. If you think love found you… you need to check the definition of love, because what you found is another person just trying to take control. Oh, and when someone leaves you, let them leave you, and if they come back run as fast as you can. Like to another state. Change you name, change your number, and get the fuck on with your life. You deserve so much better than the strays you keep bringing home.

Most of the “good” guys in your life only stick around for the honey moon phase, then shit gets to real for them and they bounce. So focus on you and the rest will come when it is time. You love to learn and you learn quite a few lessons from love. So, keep your head up and keep on moving.

College

Go away for college and steer clear of Berkeley. That place is a hell hole of idiots and all it did was bring you misery. We meet… maybe three decent human beings there?? The rest were shoving pictures of dead fetus’s in our face, making fun of white culture, which is not a thing. White is a skin tone and I am half Hispanic and PALE as fuck.

You almost slapped the stupid out of some entitled prick, who was sitting in the back of the class that day. Then you called your dad and told him you were quitting college, and that you should have gone to Davis or UCLA or any of the other ten colleges you got into, while you were walking to the nearest bar.

I went on a tangent about how he said “all I know about white culture is that they can name all the dog breeds, and don’t like spicy food”. Well, as an animal lover and someone, who had multiple dogs growing up… Yes, I can name quite a few. Avoid this place at all costs. It’s not worth the stress.

Success

Anything you need to succeed you already have. Everything you want is possible. Any dreams you dream, you have more than enough drive to make them a reality. You will accomplish anything you put your mind to. Trust your instincts.

The world has so many things to offer you, so stop living life on the side lines. Get out there. No matter what you do, you are on the right path. Some ways are a little longer than others, there are a lot of bumps in the road, a lot of bad decisions, and a lot of talking to yourself. That’s okay though. I hear that people, who talk to themselves often, are supposed to be more intelligent.

Also give yourself some credit and learn to take a compliment. You are SMARTER than you think and you are STRONGER than you think. Chase the light until you become the light.

XO,

Bri

Are You a Negative Nancy? Tips and Tricks to Overcome Negativity.

If you asked my direct family members or my closest friends, if they thought I was more of a positive person or a negative person…. The majority of them would tell you… without hesitation that I am a Negative Nancy.

When I was first starting my journey for personal growth, I dove head first into a sea of self help books. My dad had given me YOU ARE A BADASS by Jen Sincero for Christmas about a year ago. I finally decided to crack it open, after I graduated college, and had more time to actually read books that I wanted to read.

After reading YOU ARE A BADDASS, I started to realize how negative I was or had become. I also started to realize that the people around me were also extremely negative. Then… I realized I hate negativity… and negative people. So I have started to do everything in my power to become a more positive person.

Trying to be a positive person, when you are surrounded by a sea full of negative people is draining. I had to limit time with everyone, and slowly make my way back to the shore, on the island where people do not suck the life out of you. My options were drown in the negativity with everyone else, or live out a life I can actually enjoy.

The choice was an easy one to make. The hard part was killing the person I was or the person I had become. Reversing years of damage, years of bad influences, years of anger that was fueling my negativity, was not a walk in the park. I’d do well, then I’d get depressed, then I’d start to fall back down a rabbit hole where everything was just dark.

The worst part was feeling alone through the process. The best part was becoming a stronger and better person.

Signs that you are negative person

  1. You complain a lot ( I complained about everything)
  2. YOU DON’T ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS( Something that would bother me to my core)
  3. You are a pessimist (automatically thinking the worst of all situations)
  4. You opt out of going to fun things ( because god forbid something terrible happens when you are there)
  5. You have a hard time maintaining relationships
  6. You are told you are draining (people stop wanting to be around you-or feel like they are walking on egg shells)
  7. You have a million problems, but no solutions, because you don’t care to fix the problem you just want to complain about it.

Ways to stop being a negative person

  1. Identify things you contribute to the problem ( stop one upping people with your misery)
  2. Start coming up with solutions.
  3. Start practicing gratitude
  4. Start appreciating the lights in your life that get you through the day
  5. Start nourishing the relationships you have left
  6. Understand that misery loves company(its better to be alone, and working on yourself than surrounded with energy sucking wolves. You won’t be alone long just trust me).
  7. Adopt some positive affirmations
  8. Recognize the moment you have a negative thought.
  9. Meditate to promote self awareness
  10. Exercise
  11. Eat healthy
  12. Practice self-care

The road is long, but so worth it. You don’t want to stay bitter your whole life. You want the most out of your life, so worry less and live more. A positive mindset will get you farther than you think!

Treat Yourself To Some Positive Affirmations

Affirmations encourage positive thinking. They consist of anything you repeatedly say to yourself, whether it be out loud, in your head, or written on a page. Affirmations can inspire us, motivate us, or help us overcome those negative thoughts that may be poisoning our minds.

Some of my daily affirmations:

Everything I need to succeed I already possess inside of me.

I am honest and constructive.

I rise above those who are trying to break me down.

Happiness is a choice and it comes from within me.

My drive can’t be stopped. My ambition will help me reach my goals.

There is no obstacle that I cannot overcome.

I am exactly where I am supposed to be and the universe has my back.

I am taking steps to better myself every day.

Photo by Plush Design Studio on Pexels.com

Writing down affirmations was just one step of many, that I have tried, to help me be a more positive and self aware person. Affirmations have helped me change my initial thought process. Doubting yourself is painful. Negativity does not make you a person other people want to be around. Be a light. Be a person of gratitude. Most of all, be a person, who practices self care and learn to love yourself. You are unique and you are worthy.

My First Time: Falling Asleep In My Meditation Class

A few months ago, my stepmom and younger sister asked me if I would be interested in attending a meditation class with them. I had been dying to try meditation for quite some time, but I was having little success doing it on my own.

Anyways, I decided to go to the class.

The class was an hour long… and the instructor let us lie down. During the first 20 minutes all I could focus on was the kids screaming down at the pool. After those first 20 minutes, I began to fall asleep… I was dreaming.. and coming in and out of consciousness.. and THEN the snoring started.

Not someone else snoring… ME. I started snoring. Every time I would wake up I’d look over at my sister, who was laying next to me and she would start giggling to herself quietly.

I’d go back to closing my eyes, and begin to drift off again and again.

I could not stay awake… Finally the class was coming to an end.

I wake up to the sound of people shuffling around.

Everyone but me was already sitting up on their mats ending the class with some positive affirmations.

My step mom and sister were sitting there on their mats holding in all of their laughter.

I’m starting to think the worst. I assumed that I was probably snoring, but was I snoring excessively loud… Was I just snoring? Was there more??

I finally leaned over to ask them, because I kept waking myself up from what I assumed to be heavy breathing.

The just laughed at me, and chimed in with, “I’m glad you had a good nap”.

I have yet to try another hour long meditation class, but I do practice mediation at home, and on my lunch breaks, for 5-10 minute sessions to relieve stress and anxiety daily.

Meditation is still a work in progress for myself, but practice makes perfect and the benefits are worth it.

Learning to clear a mind that is always running is a difficult task.

Feel free to comment some helpful meditation tips if you’d like!

Or your first meditation experience.

I know I am not the only one who fell asleep during a class. 🙂

Why You Should Try Meditation: Four Benefits That Make a Better You

Meditation is one thing I have adopted on my journey for personal growth. It took me many tries to actually start seeing the benefits, because meditation requires some level of skill. At least in my experience. As an over thinker, and someone who’s brain is firing a million things every minute. It is hard for me to slow down and clear my mind.

Since adopting meditation into my daily routine I’ve noticed that I have

Improved self awareness

Being self aware is something that has helped me on my journey for personal growth. I personally struggled with negative thought patterns, for a majority of my life, but meditation has made me more aware of these negative thoughts, and has made it easier to direct myself to a more positive way of thinking.

When you become more self aware, you begin to start paying attention to how you treat those around you. This was helpful for me, when it came to realizing how much I was neglecting certain relationships, instead of nourishing them.

It also made me more aware of the toxic and negative people in my life, that I needed to spend more time avoiding and pushing out.

Reduced Anxiety

I’ve suffered from anxiety for years… I went to the ER for panic attacks twice when I was in college. I personally hate medication, so I’ve always tried to find other ways to reduce my anxiety.

I found that meditation helps. Partially because it helps me focus, its calming, and it consists of a lot of controlled breathing. I can never really pin down where my anxiety is coming from, but meditating reduces the worrying and stress, that my brain must be up there doing.

A lot of my anxiety is a product of thinking to much about the future, and meditation tends to keep me in the present.

Improved Sleep

Like I said before, my mind tends to be running a million miles a minute, and the ability to focus, and control my dancing thoughts before bed is one of the main reasons I tried meditation in the first place. I suffer from 3am thoughts, that leave me spinning till 7am, when my alarm goes off for work. Clearing these thoughts has been a true challenge, but practice makes perfect!

Improved Self Image

I just feel better about myself in general. I feel better in general, the reduced anxiety, the self awareness, the more positive outlook, the feeling of being well rested. The overall healthy mindset, and wanting to be healthier overall, in my daily habits. I feel more comfortable in my own skin now, than I have in years, but I think it comes with the benefits of meditation.

Can’t Stop Won’t Stop: Five Goals For 2020

Here are five of my goals for 2020. Please share some of your own goals for this year in the comments!

Read at least one book every month.-I recently joined the book of the month club, so this should be an easy one to uphold(I hope). Reading books can increase your creativity, improve sleep if you read before bed, and reduce stress.

Hike one new spot every month.- Exploring on the weekends is one of my favorite things to do. Especially after a week of staring at a computer screen. Not to mention hiking is a good way to get in some exercise outside of an actual gym. You could even make it a family outing and grab lunch at a nearby restaurant once you’re done.

Write down one thing I am grateful for every day. – by doing so I hope that I can become a more optimistic and positive person. Practicing gratitude often leads to a happier more fulfilling life.

Travel somewhere outside of the county.– I have a million places on my travel list this year, which makes it hard to narrow it down to just a few. I plan to travel to Europe at the end of May, and Thailand in November. Where in Europe is TBD, feel free to leave some suggestions for me. 🙂

Finish My Book.- Only 30,000 words to go and a ton of editing, but my goal is to get in 1,500 words a week for the next five months.

Why Embracing Failure Leads to Success

As someone, who has put their dream of going to law school on hold, to pursue something that I believe will lead to a more fulfilling life. I have now been getting asked time and time again…

“What if you fail?”

Here is the thing. I hope I fail, because every single time I fail, I get to stand up stronger, better, and wiser than I was before.

No one ever gets something right the first time around and no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone fails. The only thing you need to do, is stare failure directly in the eyes, collect yourself, and get back on the horse. Embrace failure. Don’t run from it.

Rome was not built in a day. Businesses did not become successful over night. Blood, sweat, and tears will go into the things that you are passionate about. That passion and perseverance, will bring you the success you so deeply desire and deserve.

At least that is what I believe. No one said life was easy, in fact life is extremely hard. I’ve hit rock bottom plenty of times and I am young. I also plan to hit it a dozen more times.

You can’t let failure, or fear, be the thing that is making you pump your breaks.

Failure is inevitable, but if you have the mindset, that failure is not an option, then you are going to be invincible.

Roll with the punches, don’t back down, put yourself out there, and always make sure you are doing things for the right reason.

It will all be worth it in the end.

At least that’s what I keep telling myself on this journey.

What I do know is that hard work does pay off and sometimes things just take time.

I am not afraid of failure, and you shouldn’t be either.

#failyourwaytosuccess

Ambition: The Drive That Helps Us Reach Our Goals

In hopes to start the New Year off right, let’s talk about ambition.

Definition: a strong desire to gain a particular objective; specif., the drive to succeed, or to gain fame, power, wealth, etc.

“Ambition.” YourDictionary. LoveToKnow. http://www.yourdictionary.com/AMBITION.

If I am being honest, ambition is something that is in all of us, and when paired with something like determination, it can make a person unstoppable.

I’ve always noticed that some people have more drive than others, and for some.. ambition comes and goes in waves.

When we have it, it’s as though ambition is oozing out of our pores, we are blinded by the stars in our eyes, and god help those who are trying to keep up. It’s a truly great feeling.

The problem is, when we start to lose the ambition and the momentum that comes with it. It becomes a lot harder to get it back.

The key to being ambitious and staying ambitious, is to always be fueling up. Fueling up on positivity, fueling up on attainable goals, and always setting yourself up for success.

That is why you have to stay in motion, because an object in motion stays in motion. Even if you slow down, you have to remember not to stop. It is a million times harder to get back to full speed, if you are trying to do so from a dead stop.

A dead stop in my eyes is giving up, hitting pause, throwing whatever it is on a back burner.

In 2020 we are not giving up and we are not hitting pause, because nothing is ever as bad as it seems. This is a new decade, and for those of you, that are committed to a new year, and new me philosophy. Be sure to pair that New Year ambition with some determination and I bet you’ll see a lot more progress towards the goals you hope to reach.

#leavethenegativityin2019 #callmeoptimistic

Hometown Appreciation: Bang Bang Niner Gang

Four girls and one proud father lost their voices screaming Sunday night, when Rookie Dre Greenlaw stopped Jacob Hollister, from what could have been a game winning touchdown for the Seattle Seahawks.

It’s been eight years, since the Niner’s could say they beat Seattle at home, and it “Feels Great, baby.” – Jimmy G

Many people have debated whether the Niner’s have skill or luck, but what really got them to the number one seed and the title of the NFC West Champions is HEART, and a lot of it.

Heart in every single one of our players from the people’s tight end George Kittle, to our ferocious Baby Bosa, to Deebo Samuels and his unbelievably slick moves, to Joe Staley being back out there and in tip top shape, to everyone who makes up our top notch Defense (GO GREENLAW!), and of course humble Jimmy G, with his almost calming pretty boy smile. Always giving credit, where credit is deserved.

Let’s not forget the man, who made two touchdown’s during the second half of Sunday Night’s game against Seattle. Raheem Mostert, a man, who got to where he is today, by believing that failure is not an option. A man, who stood right back up after every cut.

There is heart and soul in every single person on this Niner team.

Win or Lose the Niner’s do it TOGETHER.

There is no I in TEAM.

And the Faithful appreciates each and every one of you.

The season is not over yet! Stay humble. Stay mindful. And rest up buttercups!

Faithful Then and Faithful Now.

Mindful Monday:Happiness is a Choice

Once upon a time someone told me…..

I can’t be the one to always make you happy, you have to be able to make yourself happy on your own

-My Ex

It took me months after hearing this to actually understand what this person meant, because obviously I sat there like…

“What? Of course you make me happy. What is wrong with that?”

The problem was, he was making and breaking my overall happiness experience. I was putting the power of happiness in this person’s hands, or their friend’s hands, or their family’s hands.

Once I realized that, I realized I was putting the power of happiness in people and things, and that my whole outlook on happiness was wrong.

I had no idea how much of a choice happiness actually was, at least not until recently, to be honest. I think people tend to forget, that happiness is something they have complete control of.

I hate to say it, but one sign of not taking control of your happiness is complaining. . . Something I actually do quite often.

Complaining about something only means, you are allowing something to diminish your quality of life, the moment, the experience, the overall outcome of a situation. You are letting something or someone else take over your mindset, and by doing that, you are choosing to not be happy.

I hope this makes sense.

On my journey for personal growth, the idea of happiness became more clear to me. Now happiness stems from within me, not from what’s around me.

That’s because I try to be mindful and positive as much as I possibly can. Both of which are a choice I choose to make every day. I can obviously choose to be negative, which a lot of us are programmed to do these days.

We take a situation and automatically start to think the worst and then we get upset. Once we are upset we are left with the task of miraculously pulling ourselves out of the negative black hole. Which is far from easy.

That’s why you have to turn yourself into a glass half full person, not a glass half empty one.

In other words you have to take on a positive mindset, which once you start the process only becomes easier.

Photo by Ivan Bertolazzi on Pexels.com

In order take on a positive mindset you have to be mindful, and understand that you have a tendency to drift towards the dark side more often than not. You have to understand, that it is your choice to let something bring you down.

I am not saying you have to be happy all the time, but just manage your outlook on things, because being happy is associated with being mindful, positive, generous, ambitious, and the more you build yourself up the harder you are going to be to tear down.

Always try to look on the bright side.

One thing I’ve had to remind myself a lot, is that there is something to gain from every experience, even the painful ones. I mean… hey.. this blog started from a place of pain, and I love every minute I spend writing on it.

Some quick reminders I think people could benefit from.

1.This is Your life. Therefore you make the choices, you call the shots, you are in full control, so take advantage of that. Live your life for you, smile for you, be happy for you, and stop allowing others to come in between you and your happiness, goals, and dreams.

2. Practice Self Care. Nothing brings me more satisfaction and happiness than indulging in self care. I truly believe this makes the difference, when it comes to someone’s mental health. It also does wonders, when it comes to keeping a healthy mindset.

3. Show Compassion: A little compassion will always go a long way, and its good for the soul.

4. Don’t Waste Time Caring About What Others Think. One of my biggest fears, when I first started blogging, and writing was wondering what other people were going to think.. or say.. if they would laugh… and it kept me from pursuing something I took great pleasure in.

5. Life is Short. So don’t waste time crying over split milk, pick your battles wisely, learn when to stand up and when to take a seat, find what is meaningful to you, and make the best of life because you only get one.

Five Things You Should Do Before The New Year

New year, new me season is around the corner.

So, raise your hand if you’re going to get in shape this year. Okay… Now raise your hand if you said that last year too.

You should probably keep reading.

I’d like us all to vow, to not be those A-holes, who wait until January 1st to begin the practices that will maybe last a month.

Let’s be real

You don’t need a new year and a new list of resolutions(or same list) to make changes in your life. What you need is to be honest and realistic with yourself. And stop waiting till the “New Year” to start making changes. DO IT NOW.

It’s always better to be ahead of the curve than behind it.

Here are five things you can start doing now to make sure 2020 starts off on the right foot.

#1 Cut the Dead Ends

I’m talking hair and people honestly. Call up your hairdresser, schedule that appointment and enjoy your free therapy session with a glass of champagne. Not only are you starting the New Year off with some healthy locks, but the two of you can discuss the dead ends you are about to cut out of your life.

I really hope everyone does this. If not the hair cut, then the honest assessment of who in your life actually brings value and happiness. Remove anyone who talks down to you or that reeks of negativity. The last thing you need is someone keeping you from your goals, because they are bitter about something that doesn’t relate to you.

Cut out everyone who wants to see you fail, and keep only the most genuine circle of people, that are committed to helping and watching you grow.

When you start living life for you and stop responding and giving toxic people the time of the day, you will start to see so many positive changes in your life. Don’t bother giving people an explanation. They will figure it out.

#2 Make a Vision Board

Some of you might think this is lame, but there is a lot of power in visualization. On my vision board, I have a few places I want to travel. #Thailand2020. Goals I want to accomplish. Hiking spots I want to cross off off my bucket list. How much money I want to save. There are some inspirational sayings that remind me to keep growing and improving myself every day. I may have added a trust circle that has all my dead ends planted firmly on the outside, as a healthy reminder to keep toxic people out of my life.

Regardless of what you put on there it is good to visualize your goals. So, that you are reminded to work towards them every day. Once you finish your vision board, be sure to put it somewhere visible. Whether that is in your bedroom, your office, or as your screensaver.

#3 Make Peace With Everything in 2019

I don’t know about you, but 2019 was a doozy for me. The best thing to do going forward is to stop carrying the past with you. Be present. Let go. Stop carrying the weight of the previous year with you. You are here, you are alive, and you are loved.

Yes you are loved, even if it’s only by your cats. They still count. Meow.

In order to make the best of the year to come, you have to enter it with a clear and open mindset.

In other words. Stop letting everything that bothers you dictate your life.

Enter as you are in all of your glory, make peace with who you are now, and set your eyes on the person you want to grow to be.

#4 Empty Your Forking Fridge

Yes. Go home tonight and empty your fridge. Please. Clean it too while you are at it. Go through all the expired condiments and deep dark freezer contents, because cleaning your fridge is going to be like saying goodbye to years of bad decisions. You are going to feel beyond accomplished by doing this and it will motivate you to start throwing out junk left and right.

One of the first things I do, when I enter someones house, is walk into their kitchen and open their fridge. Probably because I am always hungry, but that fridge makes or breaks my experience.

You can tell a lot about someone by the contents of their fridge.

Just FYI.

I swear if you look into my fridge it is like you are staring into my soul. I am the person, who buys healthy food, and eats healthy for maybe a few days. Only to return to my fridge a week later and throw it all out. Bright side, my fridge is almost always clean. Downside I am extremely wasteful.

#5 Stop Making Excuses

No. Seriously. This you can and should start today.

I say this because everyone is going to go to the gym January 1st, and then as the month goes on everyone is going to slowly, but surely start making excuses not to go. So, stop making excuses today and go do whatever it is you keep saying you are going to start January 1st.

I know it’s tempting to do whatever is easier after a long day of work, but it’s hard to succeed in life if you are making excuses daily. Even the smallest excuses add up.

If you break a promise to yourself, then how do you keep promises to anyone else??

It’s time to get the ball rolling. Figure out what you want now and then go do it. You don’t have to use 2020 as an excuse to start either. Just get it done!

YOU GOT THIS!

Photo by Ihsan Aditya on Pexels.com

Post Christmas Gratitude

Well, we did it again! Made it through the holiday season. Adios Christmas, see you in 2020. It was so nice of you to take my bank account with you on your way out. Literally jumping with joy at the idea of not having to attend another large family gathering for at least another 11 months.

The holidays are great don’t get me wrong, but oh my lord the gift of giving takes its toll.

It always cracks me up that we are expected to give gifts to every single person that has crossed our path, and we tend to feel guilty when we leave someone out. Christmas has and will probably always be an over the top holiday in my household.

I mean talk about gifts galore.

Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com

What I have come to notice the last few Christmas’s is that giving gifts is hard. Especially as everyone gets older. I mean all I really want is money to pay off my student loans.

This year as I watched everyone open presents, I couldn’t help but notice the utter disappointment that came across their faces, partially because they didn’t know what to do with the books I had gifted them.

#readmore2020

Not to mention no one know’s how to pick the right sized clothes. Which means we are now left with the task of returning, or throwing the clothes into the back of our closets, because someone forgot a gift receipt.

Opening gifts is always a bit of an awkward moment, because everyone is waiting for your initial reaction. My face always shows everything… it’s very unfortunate. I guess that’s why I am a writer not an actor. Both of which are hiding behind two very different screens.

I think it’s natural for people to get a little bummed, when they don’t get exactly what they wanted. Some may call this being ungrateful.

#newiphoneplease #wheresmylulus

I am lucky I am at the age, where I get to buy presents for myself, otherwise I’d be sitting there slightly disappointed too.

It’s important to remind ourselves that it’s not about what we don’t have, it’s about what we do have, because so many people have far less.

Opening presents is a fun activity that honestly just shows you that people care.

It’s also a way for parents to encourage their small children to behave well, or else a really overweight man will not be breaking into their house on Christmas Eve…

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Santa… Stranger danger..?? I don’t know. Truly a weird concept. Who’s to say he isn’t trying to lure kids to his sleigh.

Just Saying… “He’s always watching” Watch Out. Potential stalker alert.

On a more serious note.

All the presents set aside, be grateful, because you are here and there are others that are not with us this holiday season. It’s important to be thankful for the life you have and the people in it, and to celebrate that life with the people you love.

Creative Revenge: The Ex Edition

I’ve been through some pretty bad breakups, and my mother is usually the first person I run crying to. She is also the first to say “should I go shit on their doorstep”. My initial reaction is always “Mom there is a service for that.. Let’s not go to jail for indecent exposure”. She has blessed me with some creative ways to get revenge on ex’s that don’t involve the risk of going to jail. I find these ways to be highly inappropriate and comical. I usually get revenge in a healthier long lasting way.

Creative Revenge #1: Send a care package of postcards to their work.

My mother found some “sorry you have herpes postcards” and sent it to my ex’s work. It came with five different cards for erectile dysfunction, herpes, chlamydia, and I don’t even know what else. Which was better than the almost bag of shit she was about to order for his doorstep.

This next story gets me every time…

Once upon a time my mother was dating a man, who had a girlfriend in another state. He was lying and cheating on both of them. When my mother found out this is what she did….

Creative Revenge #2: Cut the buttons off of his work shirts

My mother went in this man’s closet, because she still had the key to his house and cut the last three buttons off of every work shirt this man owned. So, that when he got back home, and was buttoning up his shirt to go to work in the morning, he’d get to the bottom and be unable to finish buttoning it up. Therefore resulting in continuously reaching for another shirt and doomed with the same result.

Creative Revenge # 3: Take what is yours…

After proceeding to psychoticly take the buttons off of the work shirts, she took all the sheets and blankets in the house. Why? because she bought them duhh. When he came back he called her crying… “I’m so cold.. I am sleeping with towels. Please bring back the bedding”.

Creative Revenge #4: Steal the dog( I definitely do not condone this one)

Upon leaving his house she stole his dog and told him it ran away, when she was removing stuff from his house. He was devestated, he had recently just got the puppy. My mother later returned the dog, because it had peed all over her house. I am also pretty sure she took all of the toilet paper in the house as well. I think her goal was to just create total panic.

Creative Revenge #5: Send a bag of shit

My mother loves poop jokes and if she could send a bag of shit to all her enemies, I think she would feel as though her life were complete. I, however, do not want a bag of shit on my doorstep and I fully believe karma is a bitch.

All jokes aside here’s what you should really do in a break up.

After my last ex broke up with me I took a hard look at myself and honestly was just sad.

I hit the gym and jumped on the scale and was shocked that I had gained 10 pounds since we started dating. For the record the reason my ex broke up with me wasn’t because I gained weight. He left me because he felt like he was settling. He told me I had no passions or hobbies of my own. I was honestly just trying to finish my last semester of college. I didn’t feel as though I had the time or luxury of these things.

Here is what I do.

#1 Hit the Gym

I always hit the gym after a break up. It truly helps me channel all the pain and anger I feel and makes me feel better about myself. Looking good is one of the best revenges. I mean #revengebody come on.

#2 Treat Yourself To Some Self Care

I typically go get my teeth whitened, my nails done, go stress shopping for a few new outfits, take a vacation to Vegas, blow off lots of steam and come back feeling extremely good and impressed with myself. Until they decide to stalk your profile, act like they want you back, because you are just fine without them and then later leave you again.

If they leave let them leave, and if they see you living your life and want you back… run as fast as you can.

#3 Move On

Like truly move on. I know this is hard. One thing I have learned in my years of dating is that ex’s always come back. Some more than others. I have men that hit me up out of the blue apologizing for something they did six years ago. So move on. They will come back, when they creep and see you at your very best. Then, and only then you can truly say “if you didn’t want me at my worst, then you can’t have me at my best”. That right there is true revenge.

About Me: Bluntly Bri

Hi there,

Let me introduce myself.

My name is Bri. I am extremely new to this so bare with me.

If someone I knew were to describe me in five words they would say I am funny, intelligent, inappropriate(sometimes crude), honest(open book) and big-hearted(all dogs welcomed).

For a brief amount of my younger years I wanted to be a comedian.

Amy Schumer was an unfortunate role model in a way. I mean the woman is impressive, but in my younger years, she should have been at the bottom of my role model list. I really just appreciated her honesty, and ability to not care what anyone else thought or had to say. She was always true to herself. I felt as though I was like Amy in a way, because both of us are incapable of filtering what comes out of our mouths, and because of that people tend to find us both funny?

I have for the most part learned to embrace this quality thus far. People’s reactions do honestly tend to make my day. Most people find me funny. Some find me cringe-worthy.

Don’t worry…

I too, am just as shocked with what comes out of my mouth sometimes. It’s definitely not for everyone, but it is extremely entertaining.

People say I am intelligent.

I dated one guy, who told me I was one of the smartest people he knew. I really couldn’t tell if that said more about him or myself… or if he was even being serious.

I’d like to think I am average and occasionally above average. I am honestly just a realistic, semi-logical person, who is constantly trying to learn and improve. I believe knowledge is power, and the world is full of information. All of which is at our fingertips.

I’ve been told I am inappropriate and that my sense of humor can be crude.

The truth is, I’m just not lady like. I don’t know how else to put this. I was raised by a single father. I held burping contests and played with hot wheels. I love and obsess over football and believe that 90’s music is the best. I will always choose rock over rap and I hate wearing dresses. Don’t take any of that the wrong way. I still look like a lady and I will be the first to tell you looks can be deceiving.

I am brutally honest with myself and those around me.

If you ask me a question I will almost always answer honestly. I have my own set of faults and I understand that so do other people. I think we all get lost sometimes, and need help getting back to the surface, and sometimes that takes a honest and hard approach.

When I say I am almost always honest.. I just mean I can try to lie, but I suck at it. Therefore, I just try to be honest all the time. I don’t like hurting feelings. I also don’t believe coddling people throughout life is healthy or good for personal growth.

For Example…

A time where I tried to lie and failed horribly.

My sister-in-law refused to tell me the name she picked out for her baby when she was pregnant, because she knew I’d probably hate it. After the baby was born, she finally Facetimed me, to introduce me to my niece. She proceeds to tell me my nieces name, and before I said anything she goes, “See! This is why we didn’t tell you!” I, of course responded “It’s a beautiful name. I love it…” My face, however, was honestly cringing at the phone, which she could CLEARLY see.

She’s lucky her baby is cute, because I may have responded with “can you send it back?” Or “You didn’t tell me Voldemort was it’s father.”

Most people tell me I have a big heart.

I think this is because I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’ve been told I am a very accepting and forgiving person. I make friends in their weirdest places, I leave myself open to others, and I’m never afraid to share or relate if it will help someone through a situation.

I was told last week that I have a yellow aura. Not sure if that is a good or bad thing. I just thought I’d throw that in.

I adore animals and I am a proud dog mama. I come from a broken family that consists of SIX siblings. Most of which I am still very unsure about. Just kidding. I love you all very unequally.

Well there you have it. That’s me. I hope you all stick around and buckle in, because shits about to get interesting. 🙂

Welcome To Bluntly Bri.

Feel free to follow me on Facebook or Instagram

Facebook: @bluntlybri

Instagram @bluntly_bri

Five Things I am Guilty of

Well what can I say. Nobody is perfect. I, like the rest of the world am guilty of doing the unthinkable. Just kidding.. I wouldn’t call it the unthinkable.

  • Judging Others: I catch myself doing this not so much anymore, but often enough. I think this is one of the worst things we as humans do to each other. I actively try to work on it by being mindful and catching myself in the moment. I really try to live by the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover” and the truth is you never know whats going on behind the curtain of someones life. Therefore, we should not judge and if we are judging maybe we should take a better look at ourselves.
  • Procrastinating: Oh my did I do this all throughout college. I am the worst when it comes to I’ll do this later. I have gotten so much better at it over the years, because I learned that if I do not do it now then I will not do it later. I try my best to make a point of getting up when my alarm actually goes off instead of snoozing. I also set up a task list for the day, so that I am sure to get the important things done. I have to actively have conversations with my self about will I actually do it later? probably not… so then I just get up and do it then. Procrastination is definitely one of my biggest struggles, but the daily task list certainly helps keep me from being lazy.
Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com
  • Not Drinking Enough Water: I do not think I will ever drink enough water daily?? For those of you that do… Please leave some helpful tips in the comments. God help me if I leave my water bottle at home for the day then I really don’t drink enough. My poor skin. I try to drink a glass in the morning, and then when I get to work, and then before lunch. I just hate having to pee all the time, that is the honest truth.
  • Skipping the Gym: I honestly have a hard time making it to the gym these days. Between my daily commute… which is about 2.5 hours, my 9-5 job, the fact that I bring my dog to work. The only workout I get in is walking the dog during lunch. The gym doesn’t have doggy day care, which… hey maybe someone should open a gym, with a doggy day care. Just saying. I obviously can’t leave my child in the car for an hour. Since I haven’t been able to physically attend an actual gym, I have begun to workout at home 3 days a week. Starting small is key when trying to be consistent with a new habit. It is a work in progress.
  • Excessively Thinking About the Future: I am an over thinker in general. It’s not that thinking about the future is a bad thing, but it tends to bring on stress and anxiety. Both of which I try my best to avoid. As someone, who suffers from anxiety, I have found that thinking about the future to much is one of my biggest triggers. I have adopted meditation, exercising a few times a week(work in progress), and being mindful about being in the present helpful. I write lists daily to make sure I am always working towards my future goals at a healthy pace. I also practice self care and make sure I have a balance between work, having fun, and relaxing.

Dear 24,

We loved, we lost, we graduated college and we lived through it all. I can’t believe I am about to say this.. but words cannot described how happy I am to turn another year older.

Graduating college was a huge accomplishment for me, even if I took a little longer to do so. Graduating from UC Berkeley was something I never dreamed possible. Especially not after I took so many years off, before I decided to attend college.

Living through one of the hardest break ups and loses of my life was a true growing experience. I learned time truly does heal all wounds and I hope it continues to do so. All in all, I did not expect to be where I am sitting here today.

Where I expected to be today was starting the career of my dreams, married and waking up everyday next to my best friend. Twenty four year old Bri was pretty naive.

I can’t complain though. Life has a funny way of showing you exactly where you need to be and even the hard times can bring about something you never expected.

Even though I felt as though I lost something important and dear to my heart and I was overwhelmed with figuring out life post college. I can truly say that I found something more amazing than any one person could have given me. Love for myself and a true voice within me. I found new motivation, ambition and I am extremely excited and happy to see where 25 takes me.

#Thailand2020 #Europe2020 #Firstbook2020 #thebluntlybripodcast2020

Photo by VisionPic .net on Pexels.com

Cheers to letting go and moving forward!

Cheers to chasing dreams and reaching your goals!

Cheers to hard work and determination!

And Cheers to 25!

Accountability: A Duty To Ourselves

Accountability is a word I believe we should all get familiar with. I think it is one of many things that helps people when it comes to personal growth. One of my goals this past year has been to become better at recognizing and taking responsibility of my actions.

Definition of Accountability: The quality or state of being accountable. Willingness to accept responsibility of ones actions.

The Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, s.v. “accountability (n.),” accessed December 16, 2019, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/accountability.

I find that people love to transfer blame. No one wants to take responsibility for their actions, their behavior, their failures. There is always someone or something to blame.

So why are we like this? Is it because it is easier not to blame yourself? Does it get you farther in life by blaming other people? I mean when your phone dies because you did not charge it and you therefore miss an important call… Do you say sorry I should have charged my phone? Or do you say my phone died? Essentially blaming your phone for not being charged. Even though you could have easily recognized it was dying and charged it, because you knew you were expecting an important call.

Not holding yourself accountable means you make excuses. Making excuses means you probably aren’t a person of action. Being a person of action leads to being a person of success. As well as, a person who is respected, true to their word, not afraid to take responsibility for their actions and admit their faults.

Accountability is one of the first things I began to work on in my journey for personal growth and it is something many of us should learn to practice more.

Rant: #Shartbucks

Ok. I need to have a serious conversation with all my fellow coffee drinkers, because I can not be the only one, who experiences automatic release after having two sips of my Starbucks coffee? Or am I? Do other people experience this level of urgency?

I can add all the almond and coconut milk I want, for those of you thinking maybe I am lactose intolerant, which may or may not be true.  I just can’t seem to comprehend what I did to deserve the after math that comes from drinking my favorite caramel macchiato. They have to be putting something in these these drinks! Is it the liquid cane sugar? The sauce?  The excessive caramel drizzle that is now taking the fast track straight out of my intestines.

I mean make room for last nights dinner, hot macchiato coming through.. is apparently the automatic brain response when my lips touch the cup. Heaven help me if a have a frappa-crapa-cinno. I just wonder if I would get the same response if I were to have.. say.. a black coffee? Instead of an overpriced cup of milk with some shots of espresso. I’ve tried regular iced coffee same response. I have now started to post on my snapchat #shartbucks. To inform my friends that I have indeed done it again and the aftermath of my decision will soon be coming. I feel like I should cut it out all together and save myself the money, regret and the overall discomfort that comes from these sugar filled drinks. Anyways maybe I have a rare form of IBS, specifically activated by a secret ingredient Starbucks uses in their coffee. 

Thank You for listening to my TedTalk. I hope you all enjoyed this very personal piece. 

Single and Ready to Mingle

Why Hello There. Come Here Often?

The line I get every time I am sitting alone at a bar. Some of you may be wondering why I am sitting alone at the bar…It’s usually because I am always on time and my friends are typically an hour late. It’s fine though. I need a good buzz to deal with them all night.

I typically need saving by the time my friends stroll in. They usually find me sitting there with that please help me look in my eyes, and a free drink in my hand. My classic Old Fashioned never disappoints and gets me through all my awkward situations.

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I have this quality of being too nice. It took me forever to learn to just say no. I don’t know why, but have a hard time hurting strangers feelings and have no problem with anyone else’s.

After being of drinking age for a few years and getting sick of this dynamic, not saying that I will ever get tired of free drinks. I had to figure out better ways to handle these situations.

I am a very honest person but sometimes you just have to lie. I had to lie to save myself in these situations. I wouldn’t lie if drunk men knew how to take no as an answer.

If I really am not interested in a person I say “you can buy me a drink but ladies are more my type”. Guys usually still buy me my drink and wish me happy hunting and we cheers.

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The I have a boyfriend line has never… ever… in my entire early 20s worked for me. Just FYI.

I had to get more creative… I had to learn how to be unapproachable… and yet somehow approachable at the same time. To only get the guys I want to approach me to approach. It was a learned skill and it took a lot of practice.

Here’s what I did. I would put my can’t possibly be bothered face on. My RBF if you will and I would tactically look around. I typically sat at the bar, so my back would be facing the majority of people, and this usually led to me being avoided by the masses. The only people talking to me were the ones asking if they could pop through to buy a drink. Most of the time they would usually ask me to order drinks and would hand me their card, and would say get yourself one too.

Now, when I say tactically look around, I mean it is always good to be aware of your surroundings. I am a very observant person. I’d watch those who would order at the bar, those who would walk in and I’d always position myself in just the right spot.

So most men tell me I have game. That is because I am good at giving signals..

For example a guy walked in. He was 100% my type, but he was with a group of women. He went to the end of the bar and ordered drinks. I looked at him like a stalker until his gaze finally met mine. We both smiled, and moved on. Later I locked eyes with him again closing out his tab gave him a what I hope was a seductive look/ quick smile, and I whispered to my friend “watch this”. So the guy finally makes his way over, and introduces himself and says “Hi, I would have kicked myself later if I didn’t say hi to you, but I am on my way out. I responded with “I’m glad you did, I’m bri, here’s my number text me when you lose the girls.

He texted me.. Told me “my eyes reeled him in”.

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We went on to have a few dates, before I found out he was recently divorced with kids. We are still friends though great man.

I used this method countless times at the bar, not at the bar, at the gym. Basically I either told people to approach me or I gave them a very firm don’t approach me look, when I noticed them starting to approach.

I don’t expect this to work for everyone, but you’d be surprised what you can do by just giving someone a look. If this tactic does not work for you though, I highly suggest going to the bar with someone who has no problem getting men to walk away. I had a friend who was such an ass. She would get free drinks and then be like..”okay. great. we are done with you now”. YIKES. The balls on that girl, are impressive? I don’t know if impressive is the right word.

Well Happy Hunting.

Lies I Tell My Boss: How I Convinced My Boss To Let Me Bring My Dog to Work.

Before I became a Legal Assistant I was still serving tables post college. After I graduated I applied to hundreds if not thousands of jobs daily. Every month that passed I hated waiting tables more and more. Every job I didn’t get… started to make me feel as though I’d never stop waiting tables. I kept picturing myself in the movie Waiting , wondering if I was going to be the angry shot lady screaming while walking up from the kitchen.

When I interviewed for the position I have right now, my boss told me off the bat- “your resume is not one I typically would consider“. I was taken by surprise, but moved on to have one of the best 45 minute interviews and conversations of my life.

As someone who was entertaining the idea of law school and him being a lawyer, he completely understood the position I was in. He understood everything I was trying to consider going forward. I was not sure if I wanted to commit three more years of my life to college, if I was doing it for the right reasons, if it was ultimately the right move and he respected that.

During my interview he asked me what the most common lie I tell is and after telling him, that I have an extremely hard time lying in general and that I suck at it… the one thing I lie about often usually involves my dog..

For example if I am late to work it is because I could not wake the precious sleeping fur child I have come to love and adore. Same goes for when people ask if I want to go out.. I usually lie and say I can’t, but truthfully I’d rather be at home with my dog.

It is not an exact science and in my particular line of work, I do, however have to occasionally lie here and there. I didn’t want him to think I was a square, so I told him I lie for my current boss all the time, and that white lies for others is acceptable. I honestly do not know why I said that. Oh well…

A few weeks into my job I began plotting. I finally asked him, if I could bring my child(dog) to work with me on Halloween. I claimed that he was part of my costume, and that I was going to bring him to my dad’s block party after work. Joke is on my boss, I don’t dress up for Halloween. My boss knew right then and there I was plotting. He said, “you really are always plotting aren’t you? Don’t act like this isn’t a ploy to bring your dog to work from now on”. Am I that obvious?

However, I knew if he met my sweet baby angel he would be fine with me bringing him to work every day.

Ready to Impress.

My dog is now the office mascot. Everyone loves him. Clients call, and ask how Q(my dog) is doing? . He even has his own stocking. I checked it this morning though and apparently someone put coal in it.. what a Grinch.

I partied pretty hard over my Thanksgiving break, because… family is difficult and I was not feeling great when I came to work Monday. So, I told my boss I had a stomach bug. This was not a total lie. I was honestly not doing so great. I really wanted to just go home. Joke was on me this time though, because I ended up getting extremely sick the next day and I was sick for two weeks straight.

Bottom line is… I have no shame apparently. I just flat out stopped lying to my boss all together. Once we got comfortable in the work place I caught him watching Deadpool on his lunch break.. he was still working he literally never stops, but now I make all of his dinner reservations under Wade Wilson. He caught me editing my book at my desk and his nosy self asks, who is the golden child? That is now my nickname. Once we cut the BS we got to enjoy the work dynamic that I feel lucky to have. I can’t say that would work anywhere else. I definitely got lucky, to get the opportunity to bring my fur baby to work, work on my own projects, figure out my future, and have a supportive boss in the process.