Mindful Monday:Happiness is a Choice

Once upon a time someone told me…..

I can’t be the one to always make you happy, you have to be able to make yourself happy on your own

-My Ex

It took me months after hearing this to actually understand what this person meant, because obviously I sat there like…

“What? Of course you make me happy. What is wrong with that?”

The problem was, he was making and breaking my overall happiness experience. I was putting the power of happiness in this person’s hands, or their friend’s hands, or their family’s hands.

Once I realized that, I realized I was putting the power of happiness in people and things, and that my whole outlook on happiness was wrong.

I had no idea how much of a choice happiness actually was, at least not until recently, to be honest. I think people tend to forget, that happiness is something they have complete control of.

I hate to say it, but one sign of not taking control of your happiness is complaining. . . Something I actually do quite often.

Complaining about something only means, you are allowing something to diminish your quality of life, the moment, the experience, the overall outcome of a situation. You are letting something or someone else take over your mindset, and by doing that, you are choosing to not be happy.

I hope this makes sense.

On my journey for personal growth, the idea of happiness became more clear to me. Now happiness stems from within me, not from what’s around me.

That’s because I try to be mindful and positive as much as I possibly can. Both of which are a choice I choose to make every day. I can obviously choose to be negative, which a lot of us are programmed to do these days.

We take a situation and automatically start to think the worst and then we get upset. Once we are upset we are left with the task of miraculously pulling ourselves out of the negative black hole. Which is far from easy.

That’s why you have to turn yourself into a glass half full person, not a glass half empty one.

In other words you have to take on a positive mindset, which once you start the process only becomes easier.

Photo by Ivan Bertolazzi on Pexels.com

In order take on a positive mindset you have to be mindful, and understand that you have a tendency to drift towards the dark side more often than not. You have to understand, that it is your choice to let something bring you down.

I am not saying you have to be happy all the time, but just manage your outlook on things, because being happy is associated with being mindful, positive, generous, ambitious, and the more you build yourself up the harder you are going to be to tear down.

Always try to look on the bright side.

One thing I’ve had to remind myself a lot, is that there is something to gain from every experience, even the painful ones. I mean… hey.. this blog started from a place of pain, and I love every minute I spend writing on it.

Some quick reminders I think people could benefit from.

1.This is Your life. Therefore you make the choices, you call the shots, you are in full control, so take advantage of that. Live your life for you, smile for you, be happy for you, and stop allowing others to come in between you and your happiness, goals, and dreams.

2. Practice Self Care. Nothing brings me more satisfaction and happiness than indulging in self care. I truly believe this makes the difference, when it comes to someone’s mental health. It also does wonders, when it comes to keeping a healthy mindset.

3. Show Compassion: A little compassion will always go a long way, and its good for the soul.

4. Don’t Waste Time Caring About What Others Think. One of my biggest fears, when I first started blogging, and writing was wondering what other people were going to think.. or say.. if they would laugh… and it kept me from pursuing something I took great pleasure in.

5. Life is Short. So don’t waste time crying over split milk, pick your battles wisely, learn when to stand up and when to take a seat, find what is meaningful to you, and make the best of life because you only get one.

Five Things You Should Do Before The New Year

New year, new me season is around the corner.

So, raise your hand if you’re going to get in shape this year. Okay… Now raise your hand if you said that last year too.

You should probably keep reading.

I’d like us all to vow, to not be those A-holes, who wait until January 1st to begin the practices that will maybe last a month.

Let’s be real

You don’t need a new year and a new list of resolutions(or same list) to make changes in your life. What you need is to be honest and realistic with yourself. And stop waiting till the “New Year” to start making changes. DO IT NOW.

It’s always better to be ahead of the curve than behind it.

Here are five things you can start doing now to make sure 2020 starts off on the right foot.

#1 Cut the Dead Ends

I’m talking hair and people honestly. Call up your hairdresser, schedule that appointment and enjoy your free therapy session with a glass of champagne. Not only are you starting the New Year off with some healthy locks, but the two of you can discuss the dead ends you are about to cut out of your life.

I really hope everyone does this. If not the hair cut, then the honest assessment of who in your life actually brings value and happiness. Remove anyone who talks down to you or that reeks of negativity. The last thing you need is someone keeping you from your goals, because they are bitter about something that doesn’t relate to you.

Cut out everyone who wants to see you fail, and keep only the most genuine circle of people, that are committed to helping and watching you grow.

When you start living life for you and stop responding and giving toxic people the time of the day, you will start to see so many positive changes in your life. Don’t bother giving people an explanation. They will figure it out.

#2 Make a Vision Board

Some of you might think this is lame, but there is a lot of power in visualization. On my vision board, I have a few places I want to travel. #Thailand2020. Goals I want to accomplish. Hiking spots I want to cross off off my bucket list. How much money I want to save. There are some inspirational sayings that remind me to keep growing and improving myself every day. I may have added a trust circle that has all my dead ends planted firmly on the outside, as a healthy reminder to keep toxic people out of my life.

Regardless of what you put on there it is good to visualize your goals. So, that you are reminded to work towards them every day. Once you finish your vision board, be sure to put it somewhere visible. Whether that is in your bedroom, your office, or as your screensaver.

#3 Make Peace With Everything in 2019

I don’t know about you, but 2019 was a doozy for me. The best thing to do going forward is to stop carrying the past with you. Be present. Let go. Stop carrying the weight of the previous year with you. You are here, you are alive, and you are loved.

Yes you are loved, even if it’s only by your cats. They still count. Meow.

In order to make the best of the year to come, you have to enter it with a clear and open mindset.

In other words. Stop letting everything that bothers you dictate your life.

Enter as you are in all of your glory, make peace with who you are now, and set your eyes on the person you want to grow to be.

#4 Empty Your Forking Fridge

Yes. Go home tonight and empty your fridge. Please. Clean it too while you are at it. Go through all the expired condiments and deep dark freezer contents, because cleaning your fridge is going to be like saying goodbye to years of bad decisions. You are going to feel beyond accomplished by doing this and it will motivate you to start throwing out junk left and right.

One of the first things I do, when I enter someones house, is walk into their kitchen and open their fridge. Probably because I am always hungry, but that fridge makes or breaks my experience.

You can tell a lot about someone by the contents of their fridge.

Just FYI.

I swear if you look into my fridge it is like you are staring into my soul. I am the person, who buys healthy food, and eats healthy for maybe a few days. Only to return to my fridge a week later and throw it all out. Bright side, my fridge is almost always clean. Downside I am extremely wasteful.

#5 Stop Making Excuses

No. Seriously. This you can and should start today.

I say this because everyone is going to go to the gym January 1st, and then as the month goes on everyone is going to slowly, but surely start making excuses not to go. So, stop making excuses today and go do whatever it is you keep saying you are going to start January 1st.

I know it’s tempting to do whatever is easier after a long day of work, but it’s hard to succeed in life if you are making excuses daily. Even the smallest excuses add up.

If you break a promise to yourself, then how do you keep promises to anyone else??

It’s time to get the ball rolling. Figure out what you want now and then go do it. You don’t have to use 2020 as an excuse to start either. Just get it done!

YOU GOT THIS!

Photo by Ihsan Aditya on Pexels.com

Five Things I am Guilty of

Well what can I say. Nobody is perfect. I, like the rest of the world am guilty of doing the unthinkable. Just kidding.. I wouldn’t call it the unthinkable.

  • Judging Others: I catch myself doing this not so much anymore, but often enough. I think this is one of the worst things we as humans do to each other. I actively try to work on it by being mindful and catching myself in the moment. I really try to live by the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover” and the truth is you never know whats going on behind the curtain of someones life. Therefore, we should not judge and if we are judging maybe we should take a better look at ourselves.
  • Procrastinating: Oh my did I do this all throughout college. I am the worst when it comes to I’ll do this later. I have gotten so much better at it over the years, because I learned that if I do not do it now then I will not do it later. I try my best to make a point of getting up when my alarm actually goes off instead of snoozing. I also set up a task list for the day, so that I am sure to get the important things done. I have to actively have conversations with my self about will I actually do it later? probably not… so then I just get up and do it then. Procrastination is definitely one of my biggest struggles, but the daily task list certainly helps keep me from being lazy.
Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com
  • Not Drinking Enough Water: I do not think I will ever drink enough water daily?? For those of you that do… Please leave some helpful tips in the comments. God help me if I leave my water bottle at home for the day then I really don’t drink enough. My poor skin. I try to drink a glass in the morning, and then when I get to work, and then before lunch. I just hate having to pee all the time, that is the honest truth.
  • Skipping the Gym: I honestly have a hard time making it to the gym these days. Between my daily commute… which is about 2.5 hours, my 9-5 job, the fact that I bring my dog to work. The only workout I get in is walking the dog during lunch. The gym doesn’t have doggy day care, which… hey maybe someone should open a gym, with a doggy day care. Just saying. I obviously can’t leave my child in the car for an hour. Since I haven’t been able to physically attend an actual gym, I have begun to workout at home 3 days a week. Starting small is key when trying to be consistent with a new habit. It is a work in progress.
  • Excessively Thinking About the Future: I am an over thinker in general. It’s not that thinking about the future is a bad thing, but it tends to bring on stress and anxiety. Both of which I try my best to avoid. As someone, who suffers from anxiety, I have found that thinking about the future to much is one of my biggest triggers. I have adopted meditation, exercising a few times a week(work in progress), and being mindful about being in the present helpful. I write lists daily to make sure I am always working towards my future goals at a healthy pace. I also practice self care and make sure I have a balance between work, having fun, and relaxing.

Dear 24,

We loved, we lost, we graduated college and we lived through it all. I can’t believe I am about to say this.. but words cannot described how happy I am to turn another year older.

Graduating college was a huge accomplishment for me, even if I took a little longer to do so. Graduating from UC Berkeley was something I never dreamed possible. Especially not after I took so many years off, before I decided to attend college.

Living through one of the hardest break ups and loses of my life was a true growing experience. I learned time truly does heal all wounds and I hope it continues to do so. All in all, I did not expect to be where I am sitting here today.

Where I expected to be today was starting the career of my dreams, married and waking up everyday next to my best friend. Twenty four year old Bri was pretty naive.

I can’t complain though. Life has a funny way of showing you exactly where you need to be and even the hard times can bring about something you never expected.

Even though I felt as though I lost something important and dear to my heart and I was overwhelmed with figuring out life post college. I can truly say that I found something more amazing than any one person could have given me. Love for myself and a true voice within me. I found new motivation, ambition and I am extremely excited and happy to see where 25 takes me.

#Thailand2020 #Europe2020 #Firstbook2020 #thebluntlybripodcast2020

Photo by VisionPic .net on Pexels.com

Cheers to letting go and moving forward!

Cheers to chasing dreams and reaching your goals!

Cheers to hard work and determination!

And Cheers to 25!

Accountability: A Duty To Ourselves

Accountability is a word I believe we should all get familiar with. I think it is one of many things that helps people when it comes to personal growth. One of my goals this past year has been to become better at recognizing and taking responsibility of my actions.

Definition of Accountability: The quality or state of being accountable. Willingness to accept responsibility of ones actions.

The Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, s.v. “accountability (n.),” accessed December 16, 2019, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/accountability.

I find that people love to transfer blame. No one wants to take responsibility for their actions, their behavior, their failures. There is always someone or something to blame.

So why are we like this? Is it because it is easier not to blame yourself? Does it get you farther in life by blaming other people? I mean when your phone dies because you did not charge it and you therefore miss an important call… Do you say sorry I should have charged my phone? Or do you say my phone died? Essentially blaming your phone for not being charged. Even though you could have easily recognized it was dying and charged it, because you knew you were expecting an important call.

Not holding yourself accountable means you make excuses. Making excuses means you probably aren’t a person of action. Being a person of action leads to being a person of success. As well as, a person who is respected, true to their word, not afraid to take responsibility for their actions and admit their faults.

Accountability is one of the first things I began to work on in my journey for personal growth and it is something many of us should learn to practice more.

Lies I Tell My Boss: How I Convinced My Boss To Let Me Bring My Dog to Work.

Before I became a Legal Assistant I was still serving tables post college. After I graduated I applied to hundreds if not thousands of jobs daily. Every month that passed I hated waiting tables more and more. Every job I didn’t get… started to make me feel as though I’d never stop waiting tables. I kept picturing myself in the movie Waiting , wondering if I was going to be the angry shot lady screaming while walking up from the kitchen.

When I interviewed for the position I have right now, my boss told me off the bat- “your resume is not one I typically would consider“. I was taken by surprise, but moved on to have one of the best 45 minute interviews and conversations of my life.

As someone who was entertaining the idea of law school and him being a lawyer, he completely understood the position I was in. He understood everything I was trying to consider going forward. I was not sure if I wanted to commit three more years of my life to college, if I was doing it for the right reasons, if it was ultimately the right move and he respected that.

During my interview he asked me what the most common lie I tell is and after telling him, that I have an extremely hard time lying in general and that I suck at it… the one thing I lie about often usually involves my dog..

For example if I am late to work it is because I could not wake the precious sleeping fur child I have come to love and adore. Same goes for when people ask if I want to go out.. I usually lie and say I can’t, but truthfully I’d rather be at home with my dog.

It is not an exact science and in my particular line of work, I do, however have to occasionally lie here and there. I didn’t want him to think I was a square, so I told him I lie for my current boss all the time, and that white lies for others is acceptable. I honestly do not know why I said that. Oh well…

A few weeks into my job I began plotting. I finally asked him, if I could bring my child(dog) to work with me on Halloween. I claimed that he was part of my costume, and that I was going to bring him to my dad’s block party after work. Joke is on my boss, I don’t dress up for Halloween. My boss knew right then and there I was plotting. He said, “you really are always plotting aren’t you? Don’t act like this isn’t a ploy to bring your dog to work from now on”. Am I that obvious?

However, I knew if he met my sweet baby angel he would be fine with me bringing him to work every day.

Ready to Impress.

My dog is now the office mascot. Everyone loves him. Clients call, and ask how Q(my dog) is doing? . He even has his own stocking. I checked it this morning though and apparently someone put coal in it.. what a Grinch.

I partied pretty hard over my Thanksgiving break, because… family is difficult and I was not feeling great when I came to work Monday. So, I told my boss I had a stomach bug. This was not a total lie. I was honestly not doing so great. I really wanted to just go home. Joke was on me this time though, because I ended up getting extremely sick the next day and I was sick for two weeks straight.

Bottom line is… I have no shame apparently. I just flat out stopped lying to my boss all together. Once we got comfortable in the work place I caught him watching Deadpool on his lunch break.. he was still working he literally never stops, but now I make all of his dinner reservations under Wade Wilson. He caught me editing my book at my desk and his nosy self asks, who is the golden child? That is now my nickname. Once we cut the BS we got to enjoy the work dynamic that I feel lucky to have. I can’t say that would work anywhere else. I definitely got lucky, to get the opportunity to bring my fur baby to work, work on my own projects, figure out my future, and have a supportive boss in the process.

Improve Your Productivity, Re-energize Yourself, and Adventure Outside of Your 9-5


Lately I have been craving a need for adventure. It appears my partying days are coming to an end and I’ve noticed that my 9-5 has left me with a need to get out and experience more.

I never realized how big my backyard truly was until recently. Even though I grew up in the bay area, I never stopped to appreciate all that surrounds me or the countless activities the bay has to offer.

I have recently decided to make it my mission to hike somewhere new every weekend while the weather is still decent. Since making this decision, I have felt so much better with myself and my mental state.

Every adventure is something new to take in. It makes me appreciate nature and the world around me. It makes me more conscience of the need to preserve the world, so that other people may one day get to appreciate the view. It has also made me more aware of the things I have been taking advantage of in my life.

Hiking brings a sense of peace and tranquility. Granted, if you are dying while climbing up a mountain, you are probably not feeling either of those in that moment. The peace and tranquility comes when you stop and look around, and take in the smells, and the sounds of the nature that’s around you.

It has truly helped with my mediation, and it forces me to be in the present.

Hiking is hands down one of my favorite weekend activities.

In today’s day and age everyone is on their phone, surfing the internet, playing video games, and overwhelmed with stress.

People are consumed with how everyone else is living their life, when they should be out living their own. Everyone always says they need to be more active, but fail to get off the couch.

Sticking to my hikes every weekend has given me a sense of accomplishment. I get to unwind from the busy work week in a healthy and cathartic way and re-energizing myself for the week to come.

I get to avoid the feeling of being lazy and feed off the feeling of being productive.

I encourage everyone to channel into their sense of adventure, and #getoutside.

Start enjoying everything the world has to offer.

Take the dogs, take the kids, make a day of it. Who knows maybe it will inspire you in a way you never thought, or maybe it will start making you feel less like a piece of crap. I look forward to the new breath taking views throughout my week, and I can’t wait to share them and my favorite spots around the bay.