Why Hello There. Come Here Often?
The line I get every time I am sitting alone at a bar. Some of you may be wondering why I am sitting alone at the bar…It’s usually because I am always on time and my friends are typically an hour late. It’s fine though. I need a good buzz to deal with them all night.
I typically need saving by the time my friends stroll in. They usually find me sitting there with that please help me look in my eyes, and a free drink in my hand. My classic Old Fashioned never disappoints and gets me through all my awkward situations.
I have this quality of being too nice. It took me forever to learn to just say no. I don’t know why, but have a hard time hurting strangers feelings and have no problem with anyone else’s.
After being of drinking age for a few years and getting sick of this dynamic, not saying that I will ever get tired of free drinks. I had to figure out better ways to handle these situations.
I am a very honest person but sometimes you just have to lie. I had to lie to save myself in these situations. I wouldn’t lie if drunk men knew how to take no as an answer.
If I really am not interested in a person I say “you can buy me a drink but ladies are more my type”. Guys usually still buy me my drink and wish me happy hunting and we cheers.
The I have a boyfriend line has never… ever… in my entire early 20s worked for me. Just FYI.
I had to get more creative… I had to learn how to be unapproachable… and yet somehow approachable at the same time. To only get the guys I want to approach me to approach. It was a learned skill and it took a lot of practice.
Here’s what I did. I would put my can’t possibly be bothered face on. My RBF if you will and I would tactically look around. I typically sat at the bar, so my back would be facing the majority of people, and this usually led to me being avoided by the masses. The only people talking to me were the ones asking if they could pop through to buy a drink. Most of the time they would usually ask me to order drinks and would hand me their card, and would say get yourself one too.
Now, when I say tactically look around, I mean it is always good to be aware of your surroundings. I am a very observant person. I’d watch those who would order at the bar, those who would walk in and I’d always position myself in just the right spot.
So most men tell me I have game. That is because I am good at giving signals..
For example a guy walked in. He was 100% my type, but he was with a group of women. He went to the end of the bar and ordered drinks. I looked at him like a stalker until his gaze finally met mine. We both smiled, and moved on. Later I locked eyes with him again closing out his tab gave him a what I hope was a seductive look/ quick smile, and I whispered to my friend “watch this”. So the guy finally makes his way over, and introduces himself and says “Hi, I would have kicked myself later if I didn’t say hi to you, but I am on my way out. I responded with “I’m glad you did, I’m bri, here’s my number text me when you lose the girls.
He texted me.. Told me “my eyes reeled him in”.
We went on to have a few dates, before I found out he was recently divorced with kids. We are still friends though great man.
I used this method countless times at the bar, not at the bar, at the gym. Basically I either told people to approach me or I gave them a very firm don’t approach me look, when I noticed them starting to approach.
I don’t expect this to work for everyone, but you’d be surprised what you can do by just giving someone a look. If this tactic does not work for you though, I highly suggest going to the bar with someone who has no problem getting men to walk away. I had a friend who was such an ass. She would get free drinks and then be like..”okay. great. we are done with you now”. YIKES. The balls on that girl, are impressive? I don’t know if impressive is the right word.
Well Happy Hunting.