Hello… It’s Me. Sliding into your DMs, Hoping You’d Like to Meet.

Technology is great. People are great. Tons of people meet online and go on to date or get married.

But then, you get that handful of people, who just seem to have lost their forking brain (but really though where did you leave it? Maybe I can help you find it?).

Somehow… social media has transported us to a world, where people think that when someone never responds, it means they should try harder.

You didn’t respond 48 days in a row… but.. hey! how’s your day today? As if the 49th time is going to be different.

Hello… Remember Me?

I can tell that you’re online, based on your activity

-bri

Currently making Adele’s song into a joke about cyber stalking /DM sliding, if you haven’t caught on yet.

You may be wondering why I am ranting on about this or why it is relevant…. so let me explain my madness.

I recently made all new social media accounts and apparently, by doing so, I opened the flood gates for messages from a handful of random people. It would be one thing if they were commenting on my blog, or my page; but no, they just came to say “Hey. You’re pretty. What’s up?”

In my opinion this is ONE of the most UNATTRACTIVE things a person can do, and it’s a huge pet peeve of mine.

I don’t think desperate is a good look on anyone to be fair.

Just because you have the ability to message people you don’t know a million times, it does not mean you should.

Most of the guys I don’t know, but then I get the ones that I had previously blocked on a different account, that decide now is the time to seize the opportunity and give it one more go.

If I wasn’t dabbling in blogging and interested in potential content (that sounds mean), then I probably would have blocked these people right off the bat. Instead, I left them on read and watched as the messages kept pouring in.

The messages were cringe worthy to say the least.

So much so that I considered taking where I worked off of my LinkedIn. I mean, this is how people end up dead in ditches or kidnapped, right? (slightly dramatic but still)

Here’s an example of the lengths these people are going to….

I had a guy offer me 10k for a “friendship” his words (swear to god), in hopes that I would hang out with him ONCE. Then, and only then, would he feel content leaving me alone.

I couldn’t help but let my mind wander. I started to think. Is this how they plan to kidnap me? Venmo me 10k… under the condition I meet them for a drink. Then, next thing I know, I’m being drugged and held hostage in someone’s mothers basement. YIKES.

Hard Pass. Flattered.

I’ve tried just about everything. I’ve gone the not responding route, which did not work. So then, I tried responding and saying, “Thanks I’m not interested.” That did not work either.

I guess the best thing you can do after that, is block them.. or subject yourself to future harassment.

I’d like to point out that the act of sliding into DM’s itself, doesn’t have to be frowned upon; but there is a right and a wrong way to do it.

If I am interested in someone… I might respond to a story someone posted and initiate a conversation.

BUT there has to have been previous mutual interest.

If two people are liking each others posts back and forth; then it is safe to ASSUME sending them a message won’t be considered super creepy.

That does not mean, that the other person is actually interested. It just means you have a higher chance of a response.

The truth is… if they don’t know you exist, then they probably don’t care to(harsh), and leaving a comment on their pictures asking, “hey, did you see my DM?” is awkward.

Not to mention.

Excessively messaging someone is considered harassment. So let’s just quit the creepy stalker shit in 2020.

END RANT:)

xo Bri

The Truth About Social Media: Depression, Reality, and Acceptance

Social Media is a great place to network, to keep in touch, to stalk our exes, to reconnect, and to promote business. It has provided us with a world of endless possibilities.

The Problem

Unfortunately social media has led to a lack off authenticity.

This lack of authenticity has created a void.. a pit.. of depression in a good amount of the us.

Social media has created a sense of distrust among the people who use it.

Between the Photoshop fails, the marketing and the get rich quick schemes. It is getting hard to tell what is real and what is fake. Luckily most of us are a good judge of character and can spot it a mile away.

People are becoming so unhappy with themselves, because they can not stop comparing themselves to other people. I have struggled with this same issue time and time again.

An Inside Look

A lot of my friends have taken the Instagram model route. They boast about how much money they or other people are making on a post. They get paid to post watches, they get paid to be at events, they get to travel often. They are also glued to their phones and obsessed with their following.

Half of them are promoting products that do nothing. Most of them fail to do much to make the world a better place. They boast about all of the gifts they receive and we follow them, because we want to be them, or because they are good to look at.

To be honest. I was jealous at first of the money my friends were making on the side. It was a car payment for crying out loud, but then I also realized nothing on social media is REAL.

You never get to fully see behind the curtain and social media is definitely a curtain.

Most of the people in an Insta Model’s life are going to be creeps. From their photographers, to their followers, at least in my experience.

Most of these people are just as unhappy as the rest of us. They too fail to be honest with themselves. Everyone is competing, everyone has eyelash extensions, fillers, hair extensions, Botox, boob jobs, because they too were unhappy with themselves at some point in time.

I hopped on the extension hype for a while, but god it was exhausting, and extremely expensive.

It is exhausting to look attractive, be fit, happy and perfect all the time.

Fooling the World and Ourselves

Every time my friends were posting on Instagram “the happy couple” in Disneyland or “never going home” in Hawaii, they were texting me how miserable they were on the side.

Fooling the world and fooling themselves in the process. We all do it.

Everyone edits their pictures, creates the perfect photo-shopped post, because they do not think the original is good enough.

We as humans are so self critical.

We as people have entered into a society that is more concerned with having a pissing contest, than helping create a COMMUNITY, of helping, encouraging and sharing success.

What Does This Mean For Future Generations?

We have fallen into a hole of likes, half naked pictures, and a lot of future children asking their Mom, why they are half naked on a swan in the middle of the pool?

The scary part is wondering if our kids will follow in our footsteps? Have we created a world where privacy does not exist? Have we lost our morals and our boundaries?

I don’t think it is necessarily a bad thing, because it has empowered so many women. I think the women who are out there doing this are beautiful and brave. I also feel as though I have to encourage it, because who would I be if I did not support my fellow women?

I feel like half of them are putting up a facade.

People are honestly just out there doing whatever made someone else really popular.

Is There Room For Improvement?

Sometimes, we have to put the crazy world of social media aside, and focus on what really matters.

Which is….

Worrying and improving ourselves not anyone else. We should be spending more time routing for each other and encouraging each other, instead of being self absorbed in our likes and following.

Everyone could use a little improvement. You do not have to put on a fake face every day in hopes people like you. You just have to make sure you like you.

If you find that you don’t like you, then be honest with yourself and figure out what needs to change. Change is not always a bad thing, if you are changing for the better.

Social Media has the ability to bring out the worst in the best of us.. the jealousy monster in most of us, and distracts us from the things in life that really matter (our friends, family, pets, life).

Acceptance is a key part of happiness. If you can accept where you are in life, what you have, and who you are, then happiness will follow.

If social media is causing you to be depressed. Don’t be afraid to take a break, clear the clutter, and practice self-care. There is more to see in this world than what is on your screen.