About Me: Bluntly Bri

Hi there,

Let me introduce myself.

My name is Bri. I am extremely new to this so bare with me.

If someone I knew were to describe me in five words they would say I am funny, intelligent, inappropriate(sometimes crude), honest(open book) and big-hearted(all dogs welcomed).

For a brief amount of my younger years I wanted to be a comedian.

Amy Schumer was an unfortunate role model in a way. I mean the woman is impressive, but in my younger years, she should have been at the bottom of my role model list. I really just appreciated her honesty, and ability to not care what anyone else thought or had to say. She was always true to herself. I felt as though I was like Amy in a way, because both of us are incapable of filtering what comes out of our mouths, and because of that people tend to find us both funny?

I have for the most part learned to embrace this quality thus far. People’s reactions do honestly tend to make my day. Most people find me funny. Some find me cringe-worthy.

Don’t worry…

I too, am just as shocked with what comes out of my mouth sometimes. It’s definitely not for everyone, but it is extremely entertaining.

People say I am intelligent.

I dated one guy, who told me I was one of the smartest people he knew. I really couldn’t tell if that said more about him or myself… or if he was even being serious.

I’d like to think I am average and occasionally above average. I am honestly just a realistic, semi-logical person, who is constantly trying to learn and improve. I believe knowledge is power, and the world is full of information. All of which is at our fingertips.

I’ve been told I am inappropriate and that my sense of humor can be crude.

The truth is, I’m just not lady like. I don’t know how else to put this. I was raised by a single father. I held burping contests and played with hot wheels. I love and obsess over football and believe that 90’s music is the best. I will always choose rock over rap and I hate wearing dresses. Don’t take any of that the wrong way. I still look like a lady and I will be the first to tell you looks can be deceiving.

I am brutally honest with myself and those around me.

If you ask me a question I will almost always answer honestly. I have my own set of faults and I understand that so do other people. I think we all get lost sometimes, and need help getting back to the surface, and sometimes that takes a honest and hard approach.

When I say I am almost always honest.. I just mean I can try to lie, but I suck at it. Therefore, I just try to be honest all the time. I don’t like hurting feelings. I also don’t believe coddling people throughout life is healthy or good for personal growth.

For Example…

A time where I tried to lie and failed horribly.

My sister-in-law refused to tell me the name she picked out for her baby when she was pregnant, because she knew I’d probably hate it. After the baby was born, she finally Facetimed me, to introduce me to my niece. She proceeds to tell me my nieces name, and before I said anything she goes, “See! This is why we didn’t tell you!” I, of course responded “It’s a beautiful name. I love it…” My face, however, was honestly cringing at the phone, which she could CLEARLY see.

She’s lucky her baby is cute, because I may have responded with “can you send it back?” Or “You didn’t tell me Voldemort was it’s father.”

Most people tell me I have a big heart.

I think this is because I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’ve been told I am a very accepting and forgiving person. I make friends in their weirdest places, I leave myself open to others, and I’m never afraid to share or relate if it will help someone through a situation.

I was told last week that I have a yellow aura. Not sure if that is a good or bad thing. I just thought I’d throw that in.

I adore animals and I am a proud dog mama. I come from a broken family that consists of SIX siblings. Most of which I am still very unsure about. Just kidding. I love you all very unequally.

Well there you have it. That’s me. I hope you all stick around and buckle in, because shits about to get interesting. 🙂

Welcome To Bluntly Bri.

Feel free to follow me on Facebook or Instagram

Facebook: @bluntlybri

Instagram @bluntly_bri

Five Things I am Guilty of

Well what can I say. Nobody is perfect. I, like the rest of the world am guilty of doing the unthinkable. Just kidding.. I wouldn’t call it the unthinkable.

  • Judging Others: I catch myself doing this not so much anymore, but often enough. I think this is one of the worst things we as humans do to each other. I actively try to work on it by being mindful and catching myself in the moment. I really try to live by the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover” and the truth is you never know whats going on behind the curtain of someones life. Therefore, we should not judge and if we are judging maybe we should take a better look at ourselves.
  • Procrastinating: Oh my did I do this all throughout college. I am the worst when it comes to I’ll do this later. I have gotten so much better at it over the years, because I learned that if I do not do it now then I will not do it later. I try my best to make a point of getting up when my alarm actually goes off instead of snoozing. I also set up a task list for the day, so that I am sure to get the important things done. I have to actively have conversations with my self about will I actually do it later? probably not… so then I just get up and do it then. Procrastination is definitely one of my biggest struggles, but the daily task list certainly helps keep me from being lazy.
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  • Not Drinking Enough Water: I do not think I will ever drink enough water daily?? For those of you that do… Please leave some helpful tips in the comments. God help me if I leave my water bottle at home for the day then I really don’t drink enough. My poor skin. I try to drink a glass in the morning, and then when I get to work, and then before lunch. I just hate having to pee all the time, that is the honest truth.
  • Skipping the Gym: I honestly have a hard time making it to the gym these days. Between my daily commute… which is about 2.5 hours, my 9-5 job, the fact that I bring my dog to work. The only workout I get in is walking the dog during lunch. The gym doesn’t have doggy day care, which… hey maybe someone should open a gym, with a doggy day care. Just saying. I obviously can’t leave my child in the car for an hour. Since I haven’t been able to physically attend an actual gym, I have begun to workout at home 3 days a week. Starting small is key when trying to be consistent with a new habit. It is a work in progress.
  • Excessively Thinking About the Future: I am an over thinker in general. It’s not that thinking about the future is a bad thing, but it tends to bring on stress and anxiety. Both of which I try my best to avoid. As someone, who suffers from anxiety, I have found that thinking about the future to much is one of my biggest triggers. I have adopted meditation, exercising a few times a week(work in progress), and being mindful about being in the present helpful. I write lists daily to make sure I am always working towards my future goals at a healthy pace. I also practice self care and make sure I have a balance between work, having fun, and relaxing.

Dear 24,

We loved, we lost, we graduated college and we lived through it all. I can’t believe I am about to say this.. but words cannot described how happy I am to turn another year older.

Graduating college was a huge accomplishment for me, even if I took a little longer to do so. Graduating from UC Berkeley was something I never dreamed possible. Especially not after I took so many years off, before I decided to attend college.

Living through one of the hardest break ups and loses of my life was a true growing experience. I learned time truly does heal all wounds and I hope it continues to do so. All in all, I did not expect to be where I am sitting here today.

Where I expected to be today was starting the career of my dreams, married and waking up everyday next to my best friend. Twenty four year old Bri was pretty naive.

I can’t complain though. Life has a funny way of showing you exactly where you need to be and even the hard times can bring about something you never expected.

Even though I felt as though I lost something important and dear to my heart and I was overwhelmed with figuring out life post college. I can truly say that I found something more amazing than any one person could have given me. Love for myself and a true voice within me. I found new motivation, ambition and I am extremely excited and happy to see where 25 takes me.

#Thailand2020 #Europe2020 #Firstbook2020 #thebluntlybripodcast2020

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Cheers to letting go and moving forward!

Cheers to chasing dreams and reaching your goals!

Cheers to hard work and determination!

And Cheers to 25!

Accountability: A Duty To Ourselves

Accountability is a word I believe we should all get familiar with. I think it is one of many things that helps people when it comes to personal growth. One of my goals this past year has been to become better at recognizing and taking responsibility of my actions.

Definition of Accountability: The quality or state of being accountable. Willingness to accept responsibility of ones actions.

The Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, s.v. “accountability (n.),” accessed December 16, 2019, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/accountability.

I find that people love to transfer blame. No one wants to take responsibility for their actions, their behavior, their failures. There is always someone or something to blame.

So why are we like this? Is it because it is easier not to blame yourself? Does it get you farther in life by blaming other people? I mean when your phone dies because you did not charge it and you therefore miss an important call… Do you say sorry I should have charged my phone? Or do you say my phone died? Essentially blaming your phone for not being charged. Even though you could have easily recognized it was dying and charged it, because you knew you were expecting an important call.

Not holding yourself accountable means you make excuses. Making excuses means you probably aren’t a person of action. Being a person of action leads to being a person of success. As well as, a person who is respected, true to their word, not afraid to take responsibility for their actions and admit their faults.

Accountability is one of the first things I began to work on in my journey for personal growth and it is something many of us should learn to practice more.

Rant: #Shartbucks

Ok. I need to have a serious conversation with all my fellow coffee drinkers, because I can not be the only one, who experiences automatic release after having two sips of my Starbucks coffee? Or am I? Do other people experience this level of urgency?

I can add all the almond and coconut milk I want, for those of you thinking maybe I am lactose intolerant, which may or may not be true.  I just can’t seem to comprehend what I did to deserve the after math that comes from drinking my favorite caramel macchiato. They have to be putting something in these these drinks! Is it the liquid cane sugar? The sauce?  The excessive caramel drizzle that is now taking the fast track straight out of my intestines.

I mean make room for last nights dinner, hot macchiato coming through.. is apparently the automatic brain response when my lips touch the cup. Heaven help me if a have a frappa-crapa-cinno. I just wonder if I would get the same response if I were to have.. say.. a black coffee? Instead of an overpriced cup of milk with some shots of espresso. I’ve tried regular iced coffee same response. I have now started to post on my snapchat #shartbucks. To inform my friends that I have indeed done it again and the aftermath of my decision will soon be coming. I feel like I should cut it out all together and save myself the money, regret and the overall discomfort that comes from these sugar filled drinks. Anyways maybe I have a rare form of IBS, specifically activated by a secret ingredient Starbucks uses in their coffee. 

Thank You for listening to my TedTalk. I hope you all enjoyed this very personal piece. 

Motivational Monday: Five Habits You Should Start Today

We all know that bad habits are hard to break, but the good news is.. good habits are easy to start! Here are FIVE easy to start good habits, that help me and hopefully others lead a more productive healthy life.

  1. Make Your Bed: Every morning I make my bed, because I love coming home to a put together room. Not to mention it is the first completed task of my day. Instead of leaving the house for work feeling unaccomplished, I feel as though I am starting the day off on a productive note.
  2. Meditate for 5-10 Minutes: I like to meditate and stretch first thing in the morning. I like to do this in the morning, because meditating is not the easiest thing to master. ( Coming from the person who feel asleep and started snoring in my first hour long meditation class). I have found that it is easier to sit through 5-10 minutes in the morning when you are still waking up and a little slow. Meditating allows me to begin the day with a clear head and ready to conquer my daily tasks. Mediation also helps relieve stress and anxiety. I spend my morning in traffic, which is my least favorite thing to do. Meditating helps me mentally prepare for my commute and allows me to control my road rage by putting me into a more positive mindset. Listening to my favorite podcast or a fun playlist helps as well.
  3. Write a Task List: I typically write 5 tasks for my day, because I know I can accomplish at least five tasks every day. Obviously, you can set more tasks, but I don’t set myself up for failure trying to load on too many. The goal is to start habits you can do everyday, without feeling like you are piling on to much. You do not want to set yourself up for failure or allow excuses, which can lead to quitting while you are ahead. You can even add make your bed and meditate to your task list and boom 2/5 are accomplished. Writing task lists leads to overall productivity, and it is a great daily habit to start.
  4. Exercise For 30 Minutes: Exercising for 30 minutes a day could be anything from walking for 30 minutes, to a 30 minute HIIT workout, yoga, or Pilates. I prefer quick circuit workouts, because like most people, I do not have enough time in the day to workout. I usually spend my lunch walking my dog. Then I go home and do a quick, but efficient circuit workout, before I make myself dinner and unwind for the night.
  5. Read for 60 Minutes: I try my best to substitute reading for TV whenever I can. I hate getting into the habit of mindlessly binge watching TV for days on end, because it is so easy to do. I usually start to read 1-2 hours before bed. I like to read self help books, books on branding, social media, business, and whatever people tend to recommend to me. Feel free to comment your favorite book!

Single and Ready to Mingle

Why Hello There. Come Here Often?

The line I get every time I am sitting alone at a bar. Some of you may be wondering why I am sitting alone at the bar…It’s usually because I am always on time and my friends are typically an hour late. It’s fine though. I need a good buzz to deal with them all night.

I typically need saving by the time my friends stroll in. They usually find me sitting there with that please help me look in my eyes, and a free drink in my hand. My classic Old Fashioned never disappoints and gets me through all my awkward situations.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I have this quality of being too nice. It took me forever to learn to just say no. I don’t know why, but have a hard time hurting strangers feelings and have no problem with anyone else’s.

After being of drinking age for a few years and getting sick of this dynamic, not saying that I will ever get tired of free drinks. I had to figure out better ways to handle these situations.

I am a very honest person but sometimes you just have to lie. I had to lie to save myself in these situations. I wouldn’t lie if drunk men knew how to take no as an answer.

If I really am not interested in a person I say “you can buy me a drink but ladies are more my type”. Guys usually still buy me my drink and wish me happy hunting and we cheers.

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The I have a boyfriend line has never… ever… in my entire early 20s worked for me. Just FYI.

I had to get more creative… I had to learn how to be unapproachable… and yet somehow approachable at the same time. To only get the guys I want to approach me to approach. It was a learned skill and it took a lot of practice.

Here’s what I did. I would put my can’t possibly be bothered face on. My RBF if you will and I would tactically look around. I typically sat at the bar, so my back would be facing the majority of people, and this usually led to me being avoided by the masses. The only people talking to me were the ones asking if they could pop through to buy a drink. Most of the time they would usually ask me to order drinks and would hand me their card, and would say get yourself one too.

Now, when I say tactically look around, I mean it is always good to be aware of your surroundings. I am a very observant person. I’d watch those who would order at the bar, those who would walk in and I’d always position myself in just the right spot.

So most men tell me I have game. That is because I am good at giving signals..

For example a guy walked in. He was 100% my type, but he was with a group of women. He went to the end of the bar and ordered drinks. I looked at him like a stalker until his gaze finally met mine. We both smiled, and moved on. Later I locked eyes with him again closing out his tab gave him a what I hope was a seductive look/ quick smile, and I whispered to my friend “watch this”. So the guy finally makes his way over, and introduces himself and says “Hi, I would have kicked myself later if I didn’t say hi to you, but I am on my way out. I responded with “I’m glad you did, I’m bri, here’s my number text me when you lose the girls.

He texted me.. Told me “my eyes reeled him in”.

Photo by Porapak Apichodilok on Pexels.com

We went on to have a few dates, before I found out he was recently divorced with kids. We are still friends though great man.

I used this method countless times at the bar, not at the bar, at the gym. Basically I either told people to approach me or I gave them a very firm don’t approach me look, when I noticed them starting to approach.

I don’t expect this to work for everyone, but you’d be surprised what you can do by just giving someone a look. If this tactic does not work for you though, I highly suggest going to the bar with someone who has no problem getting men to walk away. I had a friend who was such an ass. She would get free drinks and then be like..”okay. great. we are done with you now”. YIKES. The balls on that girl, are impressive? I don’t know if impressive is the right word.

Well Happy Hunting.

Lies I Tell My Boss: How I Convinced My Boss To Let Me Bring My Dog to Work.

Before I became a Legal Assistant I was still serving tables post college. After I graduated I applied to hundreds if not thousands of jobs daily. Every month that passed I hated waiting tables more and more. Every job I didn’t get… started to make me feel as though I’d never stop waiting tables. I kept picturing myself in the movie Waiting , wondering if I was going to be the angry shot lady screaming while walking up from the kitchen.

When I interviewed for the position I have right now, my boss told me off the bat- “your resume is not one I typically would consider“. I was taken by surprise, but moved on to have one of the best 45 minute interviews and conversations of my life.

As someone who was entertaining the idea of law school and him being a lawyer, he completely understood the position I was in. He understood everything I was trying to consider going forward. I was not sure if I wanted to commit three more years of my life to college, if I was doing it for the right reasons, if it was ultimately the right move and he respected that.

During my interview he asked me what the most common lie I tell is and after telling him, that I have an extremely hard time lying in general and that I suck at it… the one thing I lie about often usually involves my dog..

For example if I am late to work it is because I could not wake the precious sleeping fur child I have come to love and adore. Same goes for when people ask if I want to go out.. I usually lie and say I can’t, but truthfully I’d rather be at home with my dog.

It is not an exact science and in my particular line of work, I do, however have to occasionally lie here and there. I didn’t want him to think I was a square, so I told him I lie for my current boss all the time, and that white lies for others is acceptable. I honestly do not know why I said that. Oh well…

A few weeks into my job I began plotting. I finally asked him, if I could bring my child(dog) to work with me on Halloween. I claimed that he was part of my costume, and that I was going to bring him to my dad’s block party after work. Joke is on my boss, I don’t dress up for Halloween. My boss knew right then and there I was plotting. He said, “you really are always plotting aren’t you? Don’t act like this isn’t a ploy to bring your dog to work from now on”. Am I that obvious?

However, I knew if he met my sweet baby angel he would be fine with me bringing him to work every day.

Ready to Impress.

My dog is now the office mascot. Everyone loves him. Clients call, and ask how Q(my dog) is doing? . He even has his own stocking. I checked it this morning though and apparently someone put coal in it.. what a Grinch.

I partied pretty hard over my Thanksgiving break, because… family is difficult and I was not feeling great when I came to work Monday. So, I told my boss I had a stomach bug. This was not a total lie. I was honestly not doing so great. I really wanted to just go home. Joke was on me this time though, because I ended up getting extremely sick the next day and I was sick for two weeks straight.

Bottom line is… I have no shame apparently. I just flat out stopped lying to my boss all together. Once we got comfortable in the work place I caught him watching Deadpool on his lunch break.. he was still working he literally never stops, but now I make all of his dinner reservations under Wade Wilson. He caught me editing my book at my desk and his nosy self asks, who is the golden child? That is now my nickname. Once we cut the BS we got to enjoy the work dynamic that I feel lucky to have. I can’t say that would work anywhere else. I definitely got lucky, to get the opportunity to bring my fur baby to work, work on my own projects, figure out my future, and have a supportive boss in the process.

Me, Myself and the Dog: A Holiday Guide To Gift Giving

Winter is upon us, and so are the holidays, which means staying in with the space heater I call my dog. My partner in crime, fartbox, butt cuddling, bundle of joy. If his toots don’t kill me the ever present loneliness coming into this holiday season might.

My fur child and I spent a lot of time coming up with the perfect gifts for all the members of the family this year. As he laid snuggled up beside me binge watching life of pets.. I frivolously surfed the internet for the perfect bunch of presents. After finding absolutely nothing, and realizing this is such a waste of money, because who needs gifts anyways? I looked at my dog and as he gazed back at me, with that intense blank look in his eyes, I realized we are going to give the gift of giving.

Everyone is going to get the gift of giving to a charity! How philanthropic of us.

I hit google to find some gifts that give, and I stumbled across Good House Keeping’s article on the 26 Best Gifts That Give Back, and they made my life easy peasy. I found gifts for just about everyone.

For example my Step Mom is getting a succulent trio, that uses its profits to provide clean water to people around the world.

My sister is getting the Kiehl’s Collection for a Cause Skin Care Set, which donates its profits to help feed people this holiday season.

My mother is getting the grounds for hounds coffee trio set, which donates money to animal rescues.

My grandma is getting the “When Life Gives you Lemons” bangle bracelet from Alex and Ani, because she is a jewelry queen. They donate money to cancer research, which my grandma would fully support. Considering we lost one of our own to cancer.

And of course the the charity pot body lotion, as my white elephant gift this year, which donates its money to multiple causes such as human and animal rights.

The charity stuff works well for the girls, the men in my family all get 49er inspired gifts, you can’t mess with tradition! What can I say.

What it Means to Ditch the Filter

It amazes me how much people filter in their everyday lives. We filter our photos, our faces, ourselves, we are constantly editing to meet the standards of what other people think of us. I encourage everyone to ditch the filter. Especially when it comes to filtering what you say, and how you feel. I say this, because we as people hold back to much, and I want everyone to start to feel comfortable in their own skin. Ditching the filter covers so many aspects of life. Whether it’s how we filter our emotions, the words we say, we constantly hide behind a facade. I am encouraging us all to be our unique individual selves, and stop hiding behind whatever is deemed socially appropriate these days.

Ditching the filter brings a sense of freedom and enlightenment. It means cutting the bullshit, and stop apologizing for being who you are and expressing how you feel. It means ditching the societal boundaries that tell us what is socially acceptable. Society puts constraints on us, and tells us how to act and what to think.

We are all just cogs in a machine mindlessly following like sheep. I am not condoning people to start going around being assholes to each other, but simply stop holding your tongue when things should be said. Realize it is alright to talk about, grief, depression, sex, and eliminate the stigmas.

Just #beyourself, in all of your glory and stop caring how the world perceives you. #Ditchthefilter. #Ditchthefacade.  If you have no idea what that means, or entails, then go out there and figure it out. Figure you out. Start taking care of YOURSELF. There are so many things people do and do not do based on what other people think, and this OVERWHELMING fear of judgment. Ditch that philosophy and understand you are living life for you. Stop lying to people around you. learn to be more honest with yourself and others.  It’s called authenticity, and it is important.

My whole life I’ve been told that I have no filter. This meant that I could not control what came out of my mouth. This can be perceived as good and bad. While, yes, my words were fully capable of cutting like knives and hurting someone to their very core. It also meant that I had the balls to say what other people couldn’t possibly fathom saying.

I am even horrified of the things that come out of my mouth sometimes. I’ve prided myself on being real, and honest, I always speak the truth even when it hurts, because I am not an enabler. I genuinely wish more people around me would just say what they mean and mean what they say. My biggest pet peeve is when people try to say things to make you feel better, but everything they say is an outright lie. Girls do this all the time, they sugar coat everything. Sugar coating does not make anything better, and constantly coddling people creates monsters.

I think everyone filters different parts of themselves, and some people filter more things than others, but people need to come out of their comfort zone and start embarrassing themselves for everything they are.

 #firstblogpost #Loveyourlife #loveyourself #liveyourlife #ditchthebs