Five Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

Dear Younger Me,

Friendships

You don’t know this yet, but over the next ten years of your life you are going to have a revolving door of people that come in and out of your life. Most of which never stick around, and a few that stick around to long.

This sucks, but you get good at weeding out the people who are bad for you. You also become a great judge of character. First impressions are going to be key, so remember that. You could save yourself a lot of hurt, by trusting your gut instincts on a few of these people. You are going to have to learn to nourish the good relationships too though. You let a lot of people slip through the cracks, because you are kind of selfish and mean. So kill every one with kindness, and adopt that into your life, you cynical bitch.

Men

All of the men in your life are temporary, so stop crying over them, in fact avoid men in general, because they make you put your life on hold and keep you from pursuing your dreams. You’d be a lot farther by now, had you not wasted so many years jumping from one toxic relationship to the next. Also, no man is worth ruining a friendship over, you encounter a lot of women who think this a thing, you’ve also done it yourself, and it always ends poorly. Use your brain.

Love

Love will find you, but you need to find you first. You’re a hot fucking mess and you are going to have to spend a lot of time trying to better yourself. If you think love found you… you need to check the definition of love, because what you found is another person just trying to take control. Oh, and when someone leaves you, let them leave you, and if they come back run as fast as you can. Like to another state. Change you name, change your number, and get the fuck on with your life. You deserve so much better than the strays you keep bringing home.

Most of the “good” guys in your life only stick around for the honey moon phase, then shit gets to real for them and they bounce. So focus on you and the rest will come when it is time. You love to learn and you learn quite a few lessons from love. So, keep your head up and keep on moving.

College

Go away for college and steer clear of Berkeley. That place is a hell hole of idiots and all it did was bring you misery. We meet… maybe three decent human beings there?? The rest were shoving pictures of dead fetus’s in our face, making fun of white culture, which is not a thing. White is a skin tone and I am half Hispanic and PALE as fuck.

You almost slapped the stupid out of some entitled prick, who was sitting in the back of the class that day. Then you called your dad and told him you were quitting college, and that you should have gone to Davis or UCLA or any of the other ten colleges you got into, while you were walking to the nearest bar.

I went on a tangent about how he said “all I know about white culture is that they can name all the dog breeds, and don’t like spicy food”. Well, as an animal lover and someone, who had multiple dogs growing up… Yes, I can name quite a few. Avoid this place at all costs. It’s not worth the stress.

Success

Anything you need to succeed you already have. Everything you want is possible. Any dreams you dream, you have more than enough drive to make them a reality. You will accomplish anything you put your mind to. Trust your instincts.

The world has so many things to offer you, so stop living life on the side lines. Get out there. No matter what you do, you are on the right path. Some ways are a little longer than others, there are a lot of bumps in the road, a lot of bad decisions, and a lot of talking to yourself. That’s okay though. I hear that people, who talk to themselves often, are supposed to be more intelligent.

Also give yourself some credit and learn to take a compliment. You are SMARTER than you think and you are STRONGER than you think. Chase the light until you become the light.

XO,

Bri

Single and Ready to Mingle

Why Hello There. Come Here Often?

The line I get every time I am sitting alone at a bar. Some of you may be wondering why I am sitting alone at the bar…It’s usually because I am always on time and my friends are typically an hour late. It’s fine though. I need a good buzz to deal with them all night.

I typically need saving by the time my friends stroll in. They usually find me sitting there with that please help me look in my eyes, and a free drink in my hand. My classic Old Fashioned never disappoints and gets me through all my awkward situations.

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I have this quality of being too nice. It took me forever to learn to just say no. I don’t know why, but have a hard time hurting strangers feelings and have no problem with anyone else’s.

After being of drinking age for a few years and getting sick of this dynamic, not saying that I will ever get tired of free drinks. I had to figure out better ways to handle these situations.

I am a very honest person but sometimes you just have to lie. I had to lie to save myself in these situations. I wouldn’t lie if drunk men knew how to take no as an answer.

If I really am not interested in a person I say “you can buy me a drink but ladies are more my type”. Guys usually still buy me my drink and wish me happy hunting and we cheers.

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The I have a boyfriend line has never… ever… in my entire early 20s worked for me. Just FYI.

I had to get more creative… I had to learn how to be unapproachable… and yet somehow approachable at the same time. To only get the guys I want to approach me to approach. It was a learned skill and it took a lot of practice.

Here’s what I did. I would put my can’t possibly be bothered face on. My RBF if you will and I would tactically look around. I typically sat at the bar, so my back would be facing the majority of people, and this usually led to me being avoided by the masses. The only people talking to me were the ones asking if they could pop through to buy a drink. Most of the time they would usually ask me to order drinks and would hand me their card, and would say get yourself one too.

Now, when I say tactically look around, I mean it is always good to be aware of your surroundings. I am a very observant person. I’d watch those who would order at the bar, those who would walk in and I’d always position myself in just the right spot.

So most men tell me I have game. That is because I am good at giving signals..

For example a guy walked in. He was 100% my type, but he was with a group of women. He went to the end of the bar and ordered drinks. I looked at him like a stalker until his gaze finally met mine. We both smiled, and moved on. Later I locked eyes with him again closing out his tab gave him a what I hope was a seductive look/ quick smile, and I whispered to my friend “watch this”. So the guy finally makes his way over, and introduces himself and says “Hi, I would have kicked myself later if I didn’t say hi to you, but I am on my way out. I responded with “I’m glad you did, I’m bri, here’s my number text me when you lose the girls.

He texted me.. Told me “my eyes reeled him in”.

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We went on to have a few dates, before I found out he was recently divorced with kids. We are still friends though great man.

I used this method countless times at the bar, not at the bar, at the gym. Basically I either told people to approach me or I gave them a very firm don’t approach me look, when I noticed them starting to approach.

I don’t expect this to work for everyone, but you’d be surprised what you can do by just giving someone a look. If this tactic does not work for you though, I highly suggest going to the bar with someone who has no problem getting men to walk away. I had a friend who was such an ass. She would get free drinks and then be like..”okay. great. we are done with you now”. YIKES. The balls on that girl, are impressive? I don’t know if impressive is the right word.

Well Happy Hunting.