The Bottom Line: Adulting is Hard.

I searched “Adulting” on urban dictionary today… and I was almost offended by the definitions I found. Granted. They were from 2015, so the times have changed. 

Here is the top definition on Urban Dictionary:

Adulting (v): to carry out one or more of the duties and responsibilities expected of fully developed individuals (paying off that credit card debt, settling beef without blasting social media, etc). Exclusively used by those who adult less than 50% of the time.

Not too bad… still slightly offensive. 

What does exclusively used by those who adult less than 50% of the time even mean?? 

I pay my bills and I never blast my beef on social media.  I adult 85% of the time(pay my bills, pay my rent, cook for myself, work a 9-5).

I also texted my mom saying “I hate adulting” this week. Partially because working a 9-5, commuting 2+ hours, finally getting home, realizing you need to go to the grocery store and then cooking at 8pm is not ideal.

Here is a rude definition:

Being a responsible adult. Used by immature 20-somethings who are proud of themselves for paying a bill.

Okay. Who pissed in your cheerios man??? As a millennial, and someone with great credit, who pays their bills in full every month. I kind of take offense.

 #Adulting is hard. 

The problem millennials face is this:

We were told we needed an education to make money, and then we came out of college with crazy student debts, to then go work for a job that probably does not pay enough. 

Then we are expected to buy a house, have a savings, contribute to our 401k, get married and have kids.

Unfortunately, all these traditional milestones, that come with being a responsible adult, cause us to become consumed with stress. This leads to depression, lack of motivation, anxiety, panic attacks, self doubt, lowered self-esteem, and a bunch of other issues that affect our mental health. (just saying) 

So. 

We then opt to buy expensive dogs(or regular dogs) instead, which gives us motivation to buy a house so our dogs can have a better life, thus putting off kids for a few extra years. (Serious or Sarcastic?) 

Just to be clear.

Animals can improve your mood, reduce stress, encourage you to exercise, reduce anxiety, and make you feel less lonely(sometimes). 

The bottom line is.. Adulting is hard

Socioeconomic trends have changed in the past few years, and are very different for 20-somethings we simply take longer to transition into actual adulthood. 

We aren’t all giving ourselves pats on the backs for paying a bill here and there. Most of us are just doing the best we can. 

SHIT IS JUST EXPENSIVE. 

Some people take longer to gain financial independence, and making fun of adulting is our way of coping with the fact that a lot of us are stuck living at home.

Doomed to spend the rest of eternity making bad financial decisions. 

Such as…  

Spending absurd amounts of money on Starbucks coffee and avocado toast. That is, until we land our hypothetical dream job that pays well, or we move somewhere, where the cost of living isn’t BS.

P.S. Stop spending money on Starbs and avocado toast!

xo, bri

The Millennial Struggle: Authenticity.

Authenticity is something I think people in general struggle with throughout their life. Which is fair, because people spend a lot of time trying to find or figure themselves out.

It takes time to figure out what your beliefs, passions, wants and needs are.

It takes time to figure out, who you are as an individual.

It takes time to figure out what direction you want to take in life. Somehow your body has a good way of telling you, which way is right and which way is wrong. Sometimes, we fail to listen to our body’s instincts.

So many of us get consumed with life, and the hustle, and work, that we forget to live in the moment. We forget to smell the coffee that gets us through our day.

And then one day, you wake up and go who am I? What am I doing with my life? Why have I wasted so much time?

Or one day you wake up and realize that,

You find yourself in a world surrounded by people pretending to be something their not. – Pretty sure that’s from A Cinderella Story.

And then you go ugh… wth.

The more people I meet and the older I get, the more I notice that people don’t care about being real. In fact they have developed this mentality of “why be me, when I can be someone else?” Which, is very possible with modern medicine.

I think social media has a lot to do with this, because we idolize people and we want their life.

People spend less time worrying and working on themselves and more time worrying about everyone else.

The world right now is full of inauthentic people. I feel so lucky, and blessed when I get to meet real people. People with a personality, who aren’t mindless sheep.

Don’t be a mindless sheep!

The Merriam-Webster definition of authenticity is being true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.

What does it mean to be true to one’s personality, spirit, or character?

It means understanding that you’re not perfect, but owning your imperfections. It means being open- minded, even if you have your own set of beliefs. It means listening to others without judgment and living your life for you and no one else.

Put yourself first, stay in your own lane, don’t worry about the accomplishments of others. Focus on your journey, because everything else is just noise and a distraction from a fulfilling life.

You are supposed to find yourself, not get lost in all the BS. I know it’s hard, especially, when you can compare yourself to a million people with the swipe of your finger. Stay true to you.

xo Bri

“authentic,” The Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/authentic. Accessed 12/18/2019.

Mistakes Millennial’s Make When Trying to Save Money

Saving money can be very difficult, as a 24 year old, starting my career, paying off my student loans, and saving for a house. I’ve come to value my money a lot more. I had to take a good look at where I spend most of my money, and where I can save the most, by establishing my wants and needs.

  1. Buying Starbucks Multiple Times a Week

If you go to Starbucks say five days a week every week for a year you are spending well over a thousand dollars. My grande vanilla latte with almond milk costs me about $6 dollars, if I get a coffee every day five days a week on my way to work then I am spending about $1,440 a year. That is 120 a month, for something that honestly brings me nothing but the sudden urge to use the bathroom.

A good way to stop the habit, is by looking at the ingredients that are in a Starbucks drink. Obviously anything that is not black coffee. It most likely has a minimum of 14g of fat, and is probably around 300+ calories, and the sugar puts it well into the range of diabetes in a cup. I always cut out Starbucks for at least a month, when I am trying to lose weight, and it usually comes off a lot quicker. So save money, and be healthier?

When it comes to saving money it is in your best interest to ditch the Starbucks habit. The lattes, frappuccino, and microwaved breakfast sandwiches, that are usually cold in the middle have got to go! Sorry Starbs. You have to be limited it to a well deserved treat once a month.

2. Not Limiting the Money you Spend on Food

If you have decided to take a look at where you spend the most money, then you have probably realized you spend a lot of it on food. Cutting back on eating out, is one of the easiest ways to cut your monthly expenses in half. My first week at my 9-5, I door dashed food to my office three days a week. After the fees, tip and cost of food, I was spending 20 bucks a day on just lunch. My boss probably spends 100 bucks a week on door dash for lunch. That is 4,800 bucks a year. My 3 days a week is 2,880 bucks a year. That is insane. I could have put that $2,880 towards a vacation. Had I not pissed it away on food.

The reality is to save money you have to be mindful, and stop being lazy, bring lunch, cook at home, and make your own food. It is okay to treat yourself to outings, but try not to do it multiple times a week.

3. Not Staying on the Family Phone Plan

Once upon a time I left the family phone plan, to literally spend 95 bucks a month on my phone, when it is about 40 bucks to be on the family plan. So I spent $1,140 a year, when I could have been spending $480. Possibly nothing at all, because my family was not forcing me to pay for my line prior to me getting my own. Ride this wave as long as possible.

4. Overspending on Alcohol/Bars

If you are going to go out drinking make sure it is either happy hour, with a a killer happy hour deal, or make sure it is bottomless mimosas for brunch. Bottomless mimosas cost around 15 dollars, which means you have to at least consume 3 to make it worth it, given that mimosas are usually around $7 a glass. Going to the grocery store though and getting orange juice, and 2 bottles of champagne for the house is going to cost you well into the 30 dollar range, and.. if you are sharing between 2- 4 people then you are limiting yourself to a glass or two.. just saying think about it 15 dollars unlimited, and a good time. Or else you risk the chance of underestimating the amount it will take to have a mimosa party at home. Either way bottomless mimosas are a steal if you do it right.

If you are a social butterfly who goes out to the bars, stick to vodka soda, rum and coke, beer, or basic drinks, they are 6-7 dollars instead of 12-14 dollars for that fancy cocktail. This will make the difference, between having two drinks for say $14 plus tip, and $24 plus tip give or take.

I had a friend order two long islands at the bar the other week and they were 15 dollars each. My whiskey sour is about 12 dollars, the craft cocktails were well into the 12-14 dollar range. This is for a nice bar, if you really want to save money and still make it out, do the pregame at home, and get a nice buzz before you hit the bar. Also consider getting out to some lovely dive bars for a good time.

5. Not Paying Attention to What you are Buying

Being self aware of how much you spend is key. I use to never think or look before swiping my card. I still don’t…I probably never will. I do however, wish I would do the do I want it, or do I need it test, when buying crap. Had I learned self control, I could have taken myself to Europe twice by now, if I had managed the funds better.

6. Overspending on Rent

Okay! After college if you are moving home, it is okay to stay at the parents house and save up everything you can. Independence is cool, but living paycheck to paycheck is not. I have been on my own for seven years now, paying rent, and I have not been able to save up the dent I need to buy a house. Had I sacrificed my pride, and moved back home to save on rent, groceries, and living expenses. I could have saved a good 30-40k in just a year.

If you are opposed to this idea, then make sure you aren’t spending all of your paycheck on rent, maybe consider roommates to help alleviate the cost. What I found is that when I began the 9-5 life, I really was only home to eat and sleep, and I can do that anywhere, without shoveling out the money to live by myself.

You have to think of the big picture. Do you want to waste $1,500+ on rent a month.. which adds up to around $18,000+ a year, given you spend more on utilities, food, etc. Or do you want to be putting that into your own investment, making you better off in the future and buying a house. I’d personally rather buy a house, and not piss away rent every month, and put the money towards my mortgage.

7. Not Utilizing Budgeting Apps

By determining how much you want to save every week, month, or year, makes it that much more likely, that you will be putting that money aside to reach your goal. Using apps such as mint or albert to budget and manage your expenses is a good way to start saving and reaching your goals, as well as help you see where your money is going every month! You can also use acorns to invest your spare change!

Interviewing Post College: The Unfortunate Truth

Congrats! You’ve graduated college now what? The soul sucking process of interviewing begins. This is your first shot at potential rejection, but don’t worry it’s part of the process. 

My first interview outside of college I blew drastically. I wanted the job so much I just was beyond nervous. The job I had applied for did what everyone told me no job did, and asked me for my college transcripts. They had also requested I  take a personality test and send it to them prior to the interview. This made me nervous because:

  1. My college transcripts were not impressive even though I attended a top ten school. 
  2. The job literally said job training provided, and no experience necessary

My interview took place over the phone. Which was cool, because they they can’t see how nervous I am, but they can probably hear it in my voice. I found a quiet place to talk, and answered the phone, which honestly the anticipation was unreal. She started the interview off by asking me to tell her about myself. I had rehearsed this.. but completely botched it. She then hits me with the so it looks like you really struggled at Berkeley. A complete slap in the face and wow did it throw me off. What do I even say to this? She basically just said I’m incompetent and asked why, as if going to a top ten college was not enough. Now I’m incompetent because I didn’t get enough As? The interview ended- complete and utter disaster I was mortified. 

Instead of laying down, and never interviewing again I decided I needed redemption. I applied for multiple jobs a day, and started googling how to crush your interview. This is what I’ve learned. 

  1. Go in as if you don’t want the job, that way if you don’t get it it’s not that big of a deal and it will calm your nerves. 
  2. You are supposed to sell yourself, so be confident in everything you say.
  3. Don’t view it as an interview. Act like it’s a conversation where two people are getting to know each other. This honestly helped me the most. Because I have conversations with people daily and never get nervous. 
  4. Always send a follow up email when possible. Simply thanking them for their time and reminding them why you think you’d be a good fit.
  5. Do not take the rejection personally, and move on if you get rejected.
  6. Practice makes perfect so practice a lot. You can google common interview questions, and I know indeed has a good list, and potential answers that might help you out.
  7. If you get the job celebrate! 

I went into my next few interviews with a completely different mindset and crushed them all. I actually started to enjoy them and even began turning down jobs. I began to be a candidate, even though I may have lacked the experience that others may have had. I was still able to sell myself on my abilities and skill set. Simply by using the confidence I had in myself, and the way I was able to portray that to my potential employer.

Lastly, I cant stress how important it is to not get discouraged, when you face rejection. If you find yourself struggling to even get interview, take into consideration the time of year it is. I noticed that in the summer after everyone had just graduated, there is a surplus of people in your area applying for jobs. This just means there are more people to compete with, but it will die down. I found it easier applying in September and a lot of people find it easier in January as well. It is very common for people to get depressed looking for jobs after college, due to the excessive amounts of rejection, but the process is normal and it is something a lot of us go through, so hang in there and keep applying.