Five Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

Dear Younger Me,

Friendships

You don’t know this yet, but over the next ten years of your life you are going to have a revolving door of people that come in and out of your life. Most of which never stick around, and a few that stick around to long.

This sucks, but you get good at weeding out the people who are bad for you. You also become a great judge of character. First impressions are going to be key, so remember that. You could save yourself a lot of hurt, by trusting your gut instincts on a few of these people. You are going to have to learn to nourish the good relationships too though. You let a lot of people slip through the cracks, because you are kind of selfish and mean. So kill every one with kindness, and adopt that into your life, you cynical bitch.

Men

All of the men in your life are temporary, so stop crying over them, in fact avoid men in general, because they make you put your life on hold and keep you from pursuing your dreams. You’d be a lot farther by now, had you not wasted so many years jumping from one toxic relationship to the next. Also, no man is worth ruining a friendship over, you encounter a lot of women who think this a thing, you’ve also done it yourself, and it always ends poorly. Use your brain.

Love

Love will find you, but you need to find you first. You’re a hot fucking mess and you are going to have to spend a lot of time trying to better yourself. If you think love found you… you need to check the definition of love, because what you found is another person just trying to take control. Oh, and when someone leaves you, let them leave you, and if they come back run as fast as you can. Like to another state. Change you name, change your number, and get the fuck on with your life. You deserve so much better than the strays you keep bringing home.

Most of the “good” guys in your life only stick around for the honey moon phase, then shit gets to real for them and they bounce. So focus on you and the rest will come when it is time. You love to learn and you learn quite a few lessons from love. So, keep your head up and keep on moving.

College

Go away for college and steer clear of Berkeley. That place is a hell hole of idiots and all it did was bring you misery. We meet… maybe three decent human beings there?? The rest were shoving pictures of dead fetus’s in our face, making fun of white culture, which is not a thing. White is a skin tone and I am half Hispanic and PALE as fuck.

You almost slapped the stupid out of some entitled prick, who was sitting in the back of the class that day. Then you called your dad and told him you were quitting college, and that you should have gone to Davis or UCLA or any of the other ten colleges you got into, while you were walking to the nearest bar.

I went on a tangent about how he said “all I know about white culture is that they can name all the dog breeds, and don’t like spicy food”. Well, as an animal lover and someone, who had multiple dogs growing up… Yes, I can name quite a few. Avoid this place at all costs. It’s not worth the stress.

Success

Anything you need to succeed you already have. Everything you want is possible. Any dreams you dream, you have more than enough drive to make them a reality. You will accomplish anything you put your mind to. Trust your instincts.

The world has so many things to offer you, so stop living life on the side lines. Get out there. No matter what you do, you are on the right path. Some ways are a little longer than others, there are a lot of bumps in the road, a lot of bad decisions, and a lot of talking to yourself. That’s okay though. I hear that people, who talk to themselves often, are supposed to be more intelligent.

Also give yourself some credit and learn to take a compliment. You are SMARTER than you think and you are STRONGER than you think. Chase the light until you become the light.

XO,

Bri

Are You a Negative Nancy? Tips and Tricks to Overcome Negativity.

If you asked my direct family members or my closest friends, if they thought I was more of a positive person or a negative person…. The majority of them would tell you… without hesitation that I am a Negative Nancy.

When I was first starting my journey for personal growth, I dove head first into a sea of self help books. My dad had given me YOU ARE A BADASS by Jen Sincero for Christmas about a year ago. I finally decided to crack it open, after I graduated college, and had more time to actually read books that I wanted to read.

After reading YOU ARE A BADDASS, I started to realize how negative I was or had become. I also started to realize that the people around me were also extremely negative. Then… I realized I hate negativity… and negative people. So I have started to do everything in my power to become a more positive person.

Trying to be a positive person, when you are surrounded by a sea full of negative people is draining. I had to limit time with everyone, and slowly make my way back to the shore, on the island where people do not suck the life out of you. My options were drown in the negativity with everyone else, or live out a life I can actually enjoy.

The choice was an easy one to make. The hard part was killing the person I was or the person I had become. Reversing years of damage, years of bad influences, years of anger that was fueling my negativity, was not a walk in the park. I’d do well, then I’d get depressed, then I’d start to fall back down a rabbit hole where everything was just dark.

The worst part was feeling alone through the process. The best part was becoming a stronger and better person.

Signs that you are negative person

  1. You complain a lot ( I complained about everything)
  2. YOU DON’T ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS( Something that would bother me to my core)
  3. You are a pessimist (automatically thinking the worst of all situations)
  4. You opt out of going to fun things ( because god forbid something terrible happens when you are there)
  5. You have a hard time maintaining relationships
  6. You are told you are draining (people stop wanting to be around you-or feel like they are walking on egg shells)
  7. You have a million problems, but no solutions, because you don’t care to fix the problem you just want to complain about it.

Ways to stop being a negative person

  1. Identify things you contribute to the problem ( stop one upping people with your misery)
  2. Start coming up with solutions.
  3. Start practicing gratitude
  4. Start appreciating the lights in your life that get you through the day
  5. Start nourishing the relationships you have left
  6. Understand that misery loves company(its better to be alone, and working on yourself than surrounded with energy sucking wolves. You won’t be alone long just trust me).
  7. Adopt some positive affirmations
  8. Recognize the moment you have a negative thought.
  9. Meditate to promote self awareness
  10. Exercise
  11. Eat healthy
  12. Practice self-care

The road is long, but so worth it. You don’t want to stay bitter your whole life. You want the most out of your life, so worry less and live more. A positive mindset will get you farther than you think!

Treat Yourself To Some Positive Affirmations

Affirmations encourage positive thinking. They consist of anything you repeatedly say to yourself, whether it be out loud, in your head, or written on a page. Affirmations can inspire us, motivate us, or help us overcome those negative thoughts that may be poisoning our minds.

Some of my daily affirmations:

Everything I need to succeed I already possess inside of me.

I am honest and constructive.

I rise above those who are trying to break me down.

Happiness is a choice and it comes from within me.

My drive can’t be stopped. My ambition will help me reach my goals.

There is no obstacle that I cannot overcome.

I am exactly where I am supposed to be and the universe has my back.

I am taking steps to better myself every day.

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Writing down affirmations was just one step of many, that I have tried, to help me be a more positive and self aware person. Affirmations have helped me change my initial thought process. Doubting yourself is painful. Negativity does not make you a person other people want to be around. Be a light. Be a person of gratitude. Most of all, be a person, who practices self care and learn to love yourself. You are unique and you are worthy.

Why You Should Try Meditation: Four Benefits That Make a Better You

Meditation is one thing I have adopted on my journey for personal growth. It took me many tries to actually start seeing the benefits, because meditation requires some level of skill. At least in my experience. As an over thinker, and someone who’s brain is firing a million things every minute. It is hard for me to slow down and clear my mind.

Since adopting meditation into my daily routine I’ve noticed that I have

Improved self awareness

Being self aware is something that has helped me on my journey for personal growth. I personally struggled with negative thought patterns, for a majority of my life, but meditation has made me more aware of these negative thoughts, and has made it easier to direct myself to a more positive way of thinking.

When you become more self aware, you begin to start paying attention to how you treat those around you. This was helpful for me, when it came to realizing how much I was neglecting certain relationships, instead of nourishing them.

It also made me more aware of the toxic and negative people in my life, that I needed to spend more time avoiding and pushing out.

Reduced Anxiety

I’ve suffered from anxiety for years… I went to the ER for panic attacks twice when I was in college. I personally hate medication, so I’ve always tried to find other ways to reduce my anxiety.

I found that meditation helps. Partially because it helps me focus, its calming, and it consists of a lot of controlled breathing. I can never really pin down where my anxiety is coming from, but meditating reduces the worrying and stress, that my brain must be up there doing.

A lot of my anxiety is a product of thinking to much about the future, and meditation tends to keep me in the present.

Improved Sleep

Like I said before, my mind tends to be running a million miles a minute, and the ability to focus, and control my dancing thoughts before bed is one of the main reasons I tried meditation in the first place. I suffer from 3am thoughts, that leave me spinning till 7am, when my alarm goes off for work. Clearing these thoughts has been a true challenge, but practice makes perfect!

Improved Self Image

I just feel better about myself in general. I feel better in general, the reduced anxiety, the self awareness, the more positive outlook, the feeling of being well rested. The overall healthy mindset, and wanting to be healthier overall, in my daily habits. I feel more comfortable in my own skin now, than I have in years, but I think it comes with the benefits of meditation.

Dear 24,

We loved, we lost, we graduated college and we lived through it all. I can’t believe I am about to say this.. but words cannot described how happy I am to turn another year older.

Graduating college was a huge accomplishment for me, even if I took a little longer to do so. Graduating from UC Berkeley was something I never dreamed possible. Especially not after I took so many years off, before I decided to attend college.

Living through one of the hardest break ups and loses of my life was a true growing experience. I learned time truly does heal all wounds and I hope it continues to do so. All in all, I did not expect to be where I am sitting here today.

Where I expected to be today was starting the career of my dreams, married and waking up everyday next to my best friend. Twenty four year old Bri was pretty naive.

I can’t complain though. Life has a funny way of showing you exactly where you need to be and even the hard times can bring about something you never expected.

Even though I felt as though I lost something important and dear to my heart and I was overwhelmed with figuring out life post college. I can truly say that I found something more amazing than any one person could have given me. Love for myself and a true voice within me. I found new motivation, ambition and I am extremely excited and happy to see where 25 takes me.

#Thailand2020 #Europe2020 #Firstbook2020 #thebluntlybripodcast2020

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Cheers to letting go and moving forward!

Cheers to chasing dreams and reaching your goals!

Cheers to hard work and determination!

And Cheers to 25!