Dear Younger Me,
You don’t know this yet, but over the next ten years of your life you are going to have a revolving door of people that come in and out of your life. Most of which never stick around, and a few that stick around to long.
This sucks, but you get good at weeding out the people who are bad for you. You also become a great judge of character. First impressions are going to be key, so remember that. You could save yourself a lot of hurt, by trusting your gut instincts on a few of these people. You are going to have to learn to nourish the good relationships too though. You let a lot of people slip through the cracks, because you are kind of selfish and mean. So kill every one with kindness, and adopt that into your life, you cynical bitch.
All of the men in your life are temporary, so stop crying over them, in fact avoid men in general, because they make you put your life on hold and keep you from pursuing your dreams. You’d be a lot farther by now, had you not wasted so many years jumping from one toxic relationship to the next. Also, no man is worth ruining a friendship over, you encounter a lot of women who think this a thing, you’ve also done it yourself, and it always ends poorly. Use your brain.
Love will find you, but you need to find you first. You’re a hot fucking mess and you are going to have to spend a lot of time trying to better yourself. If you think love found you… you need to check the definition of love, because what you found is another person just trying to take control. Oh, and when someone leaves you, let them leave you, and if they come back run as fast as you can. Like to another state. Change you name, change your number, and get the fuck on with your life. You deserve so much better than the strays you keep bringing home.
Most of the “good” guys in your life only stick around for the honey moon phase, then shit gets to real for them and they bounce. So focus on you and the rest will come when it is time. You love to learn and you learn quite a few lessons from love. So, keep your head up and keep on moving.
Go away for college and steer clear of Berkeley. That place is a hell hole of idiots and all it did was bring you misery. We meet… maybe three decent human beings there?? The rest were shoving pictures of dead fetus’s in our face, making fun of white culture, which is not a thing. White is a skin tone and I am half Hispanic and PALE as fuck.
You almost slapped the stupid out of some entitled prick, who was sitting in the back of the class that day. Then you called your dad and told him you were quitting college, and that you should have gone to Davis or UCLA or any of the other ten colleges you got into, while you were walking to the nearest bar.
I went on a tangent about how he said “all I know about white culture is that they can name all the dog breeds, and don’t like spicy food”. Well, as an animal lover and someone, who had multiple dogs growing up… Yes, I can name quite a few. Avoid this place at all costs. It’s not worth the stress.
Anything you need to succeed you already have. Everything you want is possible. Any dreams you dream, you have more than enough drive to make them a reality. You will accomplish anything you put your mind to. Trust your instincts.
The world has so many things to offer you, so stop living life on the side lines. Get out there. No matter what you do, you are on the right path. Some ways are a little longer than others, there are a lot of bumps in the road, a lot of bad decisions, and a lot of talking to yourself. That’s okay though. I hear that people, who talk to themselves often, are supposed to be more intelligent.
Also give yourself some credit and learn to take a compliment. You are SMARTER than you think and you are STRONGER than you think. Chase the light until you become the light.