Rant: #Shartbucks

Ok. I need to have a serious conversation with all my fellow coffee drinkers, because I can not be the only one, who experiences automatic release after having two sips of my Starbucks coffee? Or am I? Do other people experience this level of urgency?

I can add all the almond and coconut milk I want, for those of you thinking maybe I am lactose intolerant, which may or may not be true.  I just can’t seem to comprehend what I did to deserve the after math that comes from drinking my favorite caramel macchiato. They have to be putting something in these these drinks! Is it the liquid cane sugar? The sauce?  The excessive caramel drizzle that is now taking the fast track straight out of my intestines.

I mean make room for last nights dinner, hot macchiato coming through.. is apparently the automatic brain response when my lips touch the cup. Heaven help me if a have a frappa-crapa-cinno. I just wonder if I would get the same response if I were to have.. say.. a black coffee? Instead of an overpriced cup of milk with some shots of espresso. I’ve tried regular iced coffee same response. I have now started to post on my snapchat #shartbucks. To inform my friends that I have indeed done it again and the aftermath of my decision will soon be coming. I feel like I should cut it out all together and save myself the money, regret and the overall discomfort that comes from these sugar filled drinks. Anyways maybe I have a rare form of IBS, specifically activated by a secret ingredient Starbucks uses in their coffee. 

Thank You for listening to my TedTalk. I hope you all enjoyed this very personal piece.