Confidence: The Key to Unlocking A Better You

Confidence is interesting. I’ve watched it come and go in myself and other people. 

Sometimes I think, wouldn’t it be nice if I could just be confident all the time?

Well.. yeah.. duh… that would be nice. 

It’s also 100% doable.  

Confidence is part of a healthy mindset. A mindset you can adopt, change, develop and start right FORKING now. 

All confident people know their strengths, they are not afraid of failure, they stand tall, they are people of action, they are problem solvers, and they definitely don’t have a problem with self doubt or negativity.

CONFIDENCE is an EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE quality. So the sooner you get on board with it the better your life will be. 

I say this as a person… who spent so much of her life never knowing what she wanted and couldn’t make a decision to save her life. 

Be confident in everything you do and every choice you make. 

It always breaks my heart, when I come across people with an underdog mentality or worse a victim mentality. I just sit there thinking to myself… Dude. The only person not rooting for you is you! Get out there, jump in, make a splash, make a scene, be forking brilliant. 

Here are a few key things I hope will ease you on the right path to becoming a more confident you. 

  1. Start practicing self-love. Stand in front of the mirror…. Look at yourself… and say at least 7 things you love about yourself. The first time around you probably won’t believe them… But if Spongebob can stand on a roof and say “I’m ugly, and I’m proud,” then I have full confidence that you can say I love my birthmark it makes me unique. I love my eyes(stop calling them pooh brown). I love that I love fiercely. I love that I am creative. I love my passion for animals(or whatever your passionate about). I love that I am nerdy. I love that I am currently practicing self love. I love my body the way it is. I love my dimples. I love my sense of humor. I love my honesty. I love that I am genuine. I love that I am kind. Alright 7 things! Repeat them…google positive affirmations if you have too. Repeat them to yourself like a mantra. Do it when you aren’t in front of the mirror I don’t care. Positive self talk. Try it. It’s fun. Maybe dance in front of the mirror while you’re at it?
  2. Eliminate negative thought patterns. Any time you start to think a negative thought turn it into multiple positive thoughts. It’s all about perspective. 
  3. Stop with the self doubt. Write down your strengths and your weaknesses. Always focus on your strengths, and improve your weaknesses over time. Stop worrying about the worst thing that can happen. Even the worst thing you can overcome. (unless you are planning to rob a bank, and the worst thing is jail. But I hope that is not the case). Self doubt is crippling. Ditch the self doubt. You will thank me for it later. Don’t worry about what everyone else thinks, worry about you. 
  4. Be a person of action. Stop making excuses. Always do what you say you are going to do and hold yourself accountable. 
  5. Dress to impress. How you present yourself can scream confidence even if you feel like a turtle in a well dressed shell. 
  6. Fake it till you make it. That’s what the best of us do. No one has it all figured out. It helps to be one step ahead though. 
  7. Do something that scares you. DUN DUN DUN. Strive to be brave, bold, and brilliant. Ask the person out, take that trip, go skydiving, swim with sharks, ride it’s a small world(literally that ride creeps me out…. I can hear the music in my head). Fear only holds you back. So go be fearless. Facing a fear does wonders for your confidence. Sometimes it even makes you feel like a new you.

Five Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

Dear Younger Me,

Friendships

You don’t know this yet, but over the next ten years of your life you are going to have a revolving door of people that come in and out of your life. Most of which never stick around, and a few that stick around to long.

This sucks, but you get good at weeding out the people who are bad for you. You also become a great judge of character. First impressions are going to be key, so remember that. You could save yourself a lot of hurt, by trusting your gut instincts on a few of these people. You are going to have to learn to nourish the good relationships too though. You let a lot of people slip through the cracks, because you are kind of selfish and mean. So kill every one with kindness, and adopt that into your life, you cynical bitch.

Men

All of the men in your life are temporary, so stop crying over them, in fact avoid men in general, because they make you put your life on hold and keep you from pursuing your dreams. You’d be a lot farther by now, had you not wasted so many years jumping from one toxic relationship to the next. Also, no man is worth ruining a friendship over, you encounter a lot of women who think this a thing, you’ve also done it yourself, and it always ends poorly. Use your brain.

Love

Love will find you, but you need to find you first. You’re a hot fucking mess and you are going to have to spend a lot of time trying to better yourself. If you think love found you… you need to check the definition of love, because what you found is another person just trying to take control. Oh, and when someone leaves you, let them leave you, and if they come back run as fast as you can. Like to another state. Change you name, change your number, and get the fuck on with your life. You deserve so much better than the strays you keep bringing home.

Most of the “good” guys in your life only stick around for the honey moon phase, then shit gets to real for them and they bounce. So focus on you and the rest will come when it is time. You love to learn and you learn quite a few lessons from love. So, keep your head up and keep on moving.

College

Go away for college and steer clear of Berkeley. That place is a hell hole of idiots and all it did was bring you misery. We meet… maybe three decent human beings there?? The rest were shoving pictures of dead fetus’s in our face, making fun of white culture, which is not a thing. White is a skin tone and I am half Hispanic and PALE as fuck.

You almost slapped the stupid out of some entitled prick, who was sitting in the back of the class that day. Then you called your dad and told him you were quitting college, and that you should have gone to Davis or UCLA or any of the other ten colleges you got into, while you were walking to the nearest bar.

I went on a tangent about how he said “all I know about white culture is that they can name all the dog breeds, and don’t like spicy food”. Well, as an animal lover and someone, who had multiple dogs growing up… Yes, I can name quite a few. Avoid this place at all costs. It’s not worth the stress.

Success

Anything you need to succeed you already have. Everything you want is possible. Any dreams you dream, you have more than enough drive to make them a reality. You will accomplish anything you put your mind to. Trust your instincts.

The world has so many things to offer you, so stop living life on the side lines. Get out there. No matter what you do, you are on the right path. Some ways are a little longer than others, there are a lot of bumps in the road, a lot of bad decisions, and a lot of talking to yourself. That’s okay though. I hear that people, who talk to themselves often, are supposed to be more intelligent.

Also give yourself some credit and learn to take a compliment. You are SMARTER than you think and you are STRONGER than you think. Chase the light until you become the light.

XO,

Bri

Why Embracing Failure Leads to Success

As someone, who has put their dream of going to law school on hold, to pursue something that I believe will lead to a more fulfilling life. I have now been getting asked time and time again…

“What if you fail?”

Here is the thing. I hope I fail, because every single time I fail, I get to stand up stronger, better, and wiser than I was before.

No one ever gets something right the first time around and no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone fails. The only thing you need to do, is stare failure directly in the eyes, collect yourself, and get back on the horse. Embrace failure. Don’t run from it.

Rome was not built in a day. Businesses did not become successful over night. Blood, sweat, and tears will go into the things that you are passionate about. That passion and perseverance, will bring you the success you so deeply desire and deserve.

At least that is what I believe. No one said life was easy, in fact life is extremely hard. I’ve hit rock bottom plenty of times and I am young. I also plan to hit it a dozen more times.

You can’t let failure, or fear, be the thing that is making you pump your breaks.

Failure is inevitable, but if you have the mindset, that failure is not an option, then you are going to be invincible.

Roll with the punches, don’t back down, put yourself out there, and always make sure you are doing things for the right reason.

It will all be worth it in the end.

At least that’s what I keep telling myself on this journey.

What I do know is that hard work does pay off and sometimes things just take time.

I am not afraid of failure, and you shouldn’t be either.

#failyourwaytosuccess